


Bloody Ink

by TAFKAmayle



Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24040537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAFKAmayle/pseuds/TAFKAmayle
Summary: Jeremy wrote a book titled Bloody Ink, featuring one Detective Tapp and his struggles with a serial killer known as the Vagabond. As Jeremy begins the second book in the series, something strange begins to happen: someone calling themselves the Vagabond begins terrorizing the city.TW: This fic contains a Ryan Haywood character.Dedicated to Melody who gave me this prompt! Thank you for your continued support!
Comments: 86
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

_ To harken a warning is so often the first step in surviving in this cold, cruel world. If blood is seen in the water, a smart person would harken this warning and stay out of the water. If a man leaves a calling card on a dead body with your name on it, a smart person would harken this warning and stay far away._

_ Detective Tapp was not a smart man. Arguably a brave man, but certainly not a smart one. Or at the very least, he was a man with no proper survival instinct. He sprinted head-first into danger, consistently ramming right into it. Even when danger was staring him right in the eye, he didn’t stop. The ace of hearts card was simply another sign of danger he ignored. He plucked it from the body and flipped it between his fingers. A bloody “V” was slashed across the back. _

_ In Los Angeles, danger had a name. Vagabond. The masked force of destruction whose mere mention could quiet a room of police officers and chill even the warmest of Californian summers. Some even believed he wasn’t mortal, that he couldn’t be killed. However, Tapp didn’t believe it for a second. If Vagabond could bleed, he could be killed.  _

_ Tapp turned the card back over. “Rimmy Tim” was scrawled in black ink, framed by the red heart in the center. He should perhaps feel some form of comfort that it wasn’t his real name, but the thought provided none. A shadow laid over his heart, his mind focusing in on his vigilante name. He was targeted next. Vagabond was coming for him. _

_ Bang! _

Jeremy jumped as he finished writing the onomatopoeia, the clap of thunder echoing in real life. He looked out his balcony at the storm. What an unbelievable coincidence that thunder would hit just as he typed it into his computer. _Bizarre._ He shook his head, turning back to his computer.

_Tapp jumped, startled by the clap of thunder. He puffed out a sigh, shaking is head. He was way too old to be scared by thunder. He stood from his crouch next to the body, dropping the card into an evidence bag. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do about it._

_Praying was about all he could do. He’d kept Rimmy Tim’s secret identity about as secret as he could, but he had a feeling Vagabond wasn’t going to stop just because the job got tough. When he chose to come for you, he would find you and the last thing you’d see would be that black skull mask grinning down at you. And those cold blue eyes, sparkling with amusement as the life drained from you._

_“Partner, you awake in there?” Davis called out to him._

_Tapp cleared his throat, glancing at Davis’ own blue eyes. Worry. Tapp thought he could drown in those warm blue oceans of his. Thought he’d like it if Davis tried to use CPR if he did happen to start drowning._

_Davis stepped closer to him, eyebrows drawing together. He was close now. Tapp’s heart hammered in his chest. Davis looked so concerned for his health. Tapp wanted to be sick just to get comforted. Davis reached for his face and Tapp’s eyes dropped to his pink lips._

_Bang!_

Jeremy jumped again as the thunder clapped right as he finished typing. He clutched at his chest. _Twice in one night. Maybe I‘m more tired than I thought._ He shook his head, rubbing at his eyes. He sighed as he shut off his computer. The incidents interrupted his flow anyway. Hopefully tomorrow would work out better.

~

Ryan was suddenly standing alone in the rain. He sputtered, looking around wildly. _Balcony._ He was standing on an apartment balcony. The light flicked off before he could get oriented enough to look inside. What? Where? How? He turned around, looking outward. Well, it looked like the beautiful garbage heap that was Los Angeles. It was hard to tell in the fucking rain though.

He stepped closer to the building, hunching over to pull out his phone. He needed to call Tapp. Make sure he was okay. His phone was dead. How was it dead? They’d just been in the car where it was always charging at 100%. He put it back in his pocket. 

Maybe he was asleep. Maybe he was asleep when he’d been about to kiss Tapp. Wouldn’t be the first time that cute midget invaded his dreams. But then what, he’d sleep-walked to this apartment? Not likely: he cuffed himself to the bed to stop the sleep-walking. Maybe he slipped the cuffs, but _really_ not likely. 

He’d lost time. Between trying to kiss Tapp and ending up on the balcony. He didn’t know what time it was either, so he had no idea how much time had passed. He considered the apartment. He was still in his work clothes, including all his belt accessories. Not a good idea to break in some place while posing as Detective Rodger Davis. Especially with as insane as he felt at that moment. He turned to climb down the balcony.

Find Tapp. Figure out what happened. Kill whoever stole his time. Unless it was Tapp. He grinned. He’d still find a way to punish him if it was him though. He had a few ideas already.

Ryan frowned as he walked through the dark streets. Los Angeles was big, but he’d been walking for quite a while and hadn’t recognized a single building or street. He had passed a sign for an apartment complex called Morning Wood and was pretty sure he’d have remembered that. 

So he not only left the crime scene, he’d left the city? What city was he in now? It seemed even more similar to LA now that it wasn’t raining any more. He saw some hookers and quickly buttoned his coat so they wouldn’t see his badge and gun. They watched him carefully as he approached. 

“Hello there, do you have the time?” He questioned, “My phone died.”

They snorted at him.

“Information ain’t free in LS, honey,” one of them scoffed.

_LS? LS..._ He couldn’t think of a possible city with those initials near LA. Damn, how far was he? He pulled his wallet and plucked a twenty dollar bill from it. The one who scoffed came forward and took it before holding up her phone. 9:47pm. He frowned. The date was the same as well. How could it have been only twenty minutes since he was with Tapp at the crime scene? He’d probably been walking around for twenty minutes. 

“LS, what does that stand for?” He asked.

“Los Santos,” she answered, “City of Saints, baby. You look more like a sinner to me.”

“You have no idea,” He snorted.

“Well, then you fit right in,” She laughed, “Dream big, darlin’.”

She gave him a small wave and turned to walk back to her friends. Ryan walked on, moving down the sidewalk. _LS. Los Santos. City of Saints. LA. Los Angeles. City of Angels._ No way on this earth that was a coincidence. Did LA have a twin city Ryan never heard of? What state was he even in??

More importantly, how in the goddamn fuck did he end up teleporting to that balcony mid-kissing Tapp?! Damnit, he’d been so close too. As much as people thought Vagabond was a sociopath, he wasn’t really. Psycho? Debatable. But a sociopath he was not. He liked certain people. Liked them a lot. Liked them enough to consider giving up being a serial killer. Not that he actually would, but he had thought about it. Even if he was crazy, the idea of falling asleep next to him...

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck!” 

Ryan was startled from his thoughts as a shouting person came screeching around the corner and plowed right into him. He grunted as they hit the ground and went for his gun, which unfortunately was under his buttoned coat. _Shit._ The person pulled up, shaking his head and looked down at him. Their face broke into a wild grin.

“Well, hello, love,” they greeted brightly in a British accent, “I’ll be with you in a moment.”

They turned and fired a golden gun into their pursuers without removing themself from Ryan’s person. _A golden gun like in GoldenEye007,_ he noted. After the three pursuers were dead, they turned back, scowling.

“Yes, well, the plan wasn’t very good, Geoffrey!” They shouted, “You try going down the elevator shaft with a computer on your back!”

They huffed and refocused on Ryan who just waited in baffled silence.

“So sorry, love,” they apologized, hopping up, “Are you alright?”

Ryan nodded as he got to his feet and brushed himself off. They frowned as they looked him up and down.

“Geoff, did we get a new detective?” He grunted, “I just ran into one I’ve never seen before.”

_Oh good, a criminal who can easily identify a police detective._ Talking to someone over an earpiece it looked like.

“I’m not a detective,” Ryan muttered, stepping around him.

They let him go and Ryan considered the situation. They’d said “did _we_ get a new detective” certainly seeming to imply that criminals owned the police in this city. So far the parallels between LA and LS were uncanny. And extremely concerning. Parallels... that was it, wasn’t it? He was in a parallel universe. It was the only theory that would explain everything. 

He’d thought about the idea of parallel universes, but he’d never actually expected to suddenly be shoved into one. Parallel universe. He paused to sit on a bench and have a silent meltdown. Parallel universe. Something had happened that suddenly pushed him into this universe. 

He hadn’t done anything differently. Except try to kiss Tapp, but that didn’t seem like a universe-swapping event. So was it this world? Had he been pulled rather than pushed?


	2. Chapter 2

Ryan had actually started to get a bit bored when he was approached by Kingpin. As he heard it, the man was basically the king of LS. A crime boss with an actually good reputation for keeping order and delivering actual justice. Ryan admired the man’s charisma and leadership abilities, even though if he’d been home, he never would’ve worked with the guy. But he wasn’t home. 

“Vagabond, right?” Kingpin greeted from the window of his limo, “Mind if we have a chat?”

Ryan’s fist broke the jaw of the man at his feet while he looked at Kingpin. _Blue eyes, tattoos on his hands, curly mustache. Interesting._ He stood, letting go of the man and shrugged. Kingpin waved him over and rolled up the window. He pushed the car door open for Ryan and moved to give him room. Ryan slid in and closed the door behind him. 

“Not exactly what I pictured,” Kingpin admitted, “But I like this style better.”

Ryan just stared at him blankly. _What the fuck is this man talking about?_

“You have read the book, right?” Kingpin questioned, raising an eyebrow.

_What the fuck is this man talking about?_ Kingpin frowned at him.

“Did you come up with the Vagabond character on your own?” He asked.

“Yes, obviously,” Ryan muttered.

Kingpin looked more confused than he did. 

“Huh, so...” He mumbled, “Nevermind, would you like to be a member of the Fake AH Crew? We could always use someone of your talents.”

“Sure,” Ryan agreed, shrugging.

Five months of searching hadn’t gotten him anywhere. It was time to just fully accept that he was part of LS now and in LS, Fake AH ruled.

~

Ryan’s eyes tracked alternate-Tapp. Dooley was his name, but Ryan couldn’t give a shit. He was even shorter than Tapp and a bit wider. His ass was exactly the same though. And he was allergic to shirt sleeves it seemed. He was constantly showing off his built arms. He was Tapp, but slightly different. 

This universe’s Tapp was an ex-police detective turned fiction author. He wrote about the Vagabond, that was all Ryan knew. Kingpin had explained that he was under the impression Ryan was cosplaying a character written by not-Tapp. He also told Ryan he wasn’t allowed to kill him or damage anything that would impair his ability to finish the next book. 

Ryan needed to know what he knew. He’d been searching five months for the fucker only to find he already knew him in a world where Ryan didn’t exist in any form. And he’d checked. DNA, fingerprints, and facial recognition. He had no records. The only sign that anyone knew who the Vagabond was, was not-Tapp’s book. 

He hadn’t read it. Mostly because there were few copies of the thing. His publisher sucked ass on getting copies sold. If he wanted to read it, he’d have to special order it or borrow a copy. But he didn’t want anyone to know he was interested in it on the off chance not-Tapp _had_ actually written about him. Then all they’d have to do was read the book to find his weaknesses. Weakness.

He really only had the one.

~

_Ding dong!_

Jeremy jumped in surprise. _I have a doorbell?!_ He moved towards the door, picking his gun up off the table as he went. Hopefully it was Geoff. He hadn’t talked to him face to face in awhile. He should really talk to his patron occasionally since he was basically his sugar daddy. He opened the door, leaving the deadbolt in place only for it not to matter.

The door was slammed open, directly into his face, sending him to the floor with a groan. He dropped the gun. _Fuck._ He looked up at the towering figure and nearly pissed himself. _He looks so fucking tall in person._

Vagabond kicked the door closed behind him before putting his boot on Jeremy’s chest. _Fuck, don’t do a domination pose, I’ll get a fucking boner!_ Vagabond leaned down, careful not to put too much pressure on Jeremy’s chest. _His eyes..._ Jeremy was breathless, not from the combat boot on his sternum.

“H-how-? You’re not even wearing contacts,” he muttered.

Vagabond’s head cocked to the side as though he was confused.

“What do you know about me?” He grunted.

_His voice...it’s perfect. How??_ Jeremy shook himself. _Don’t get weird! This guy is a crazy murderer!_

“I don’t know anything,” he assured him.

Vagabond drew a knife, one Jeremy recognized as the style described in his book. _Jesus, he went all out. I’m going to fucking die._

“You’re a liar,” Vagabond growled, “Your book, it says things about me. How do you know me?”

_ Oh fuck. He actually thinks he is the Vagabond. Fuck. This is the day I fucking die. I can’t die, I haven’t finished book two yet!  _

“I-I don’t...know what to say,” Jeremy admitted, “I’m just a fiction writer.”

_And ex-cop, but let’s not tell the crazed, pig-hating murderer that._ Vagabond’s eyes narrowed at him. He stood up again, looking him up and down. Inspecting him. _Appraising._ He moved away from Jeremy and picked up his gun where it’d landed on the carpet. Jeremy hesitated to sit up, watching the man carefully as he did so. Vagabond inspected the weapon a moment with the same eyes he’d used on Jeremy. 

“You’ve had quite the coincidences,” He commented, twirling the gun around, “You just so happen to have a character with an uncanny resemblance to me.”

He pointed the gun at Jeremy.

“Wh-what’s the other one?” Jeremy blurted.

Vagabond tilted his head.

“You said coincidences,” Jeremy pointed out, “Plural. What’s the other one?”

Vagabond was smirking under the mask. Jeremy could tell by the way his eyes sparkled and wrinkled up. He’d written the moment dozens of times. Pictured it even more. Vagabond stepped closer again, the gun pointed at Jeremy’s face. 

His finger wasn’t on the trigger and he hadn’t switched the safety off. He had no plans to kill Jeremy. He was just trying to scare him. It was working, Jeremy was completely freaked out. He crouched down.

“You happen to be exactly my type, Detective Dooley,” He answered, voice filled with amusement.

Jeremy went red. _Is he coming on to me?!_ He was distracted by his own gun moving toward him. He held his breath as it moved to his mouth. He nearly went crosseyed to watch it. It pressed to his lips like a kiss. His heart pounded in his chest as he looked back into Vagabond’s eyes. _Ryan?_

_Ding dong!_

Jeremy jolted. _Right. I have a doorbell._ Vagabond sighed, standing up. Jeremy shook his stupid thoughts from his head. _He’s not Ryan. Ryan isn’t real._

“It’s unlocked,” Vagabond called.

Geoff opened the door.

“He’s alive,” Vagabond grunted, “As promised.”

Jeremy looked at Geoff.

“You hired him,” he spoke in a low tone.

“Yes, I hired him,” Geoff snorted, “Obviously. He’s amazing at what he does. I thought he was a fan too, but he hasn’t read it.”

Jeremy’s eyebrows went up.

“So...it really is a coincidence?” He questioned in disbelief.

“It would appear so,” Vagabond muttered.

Jeremy relaxed significantly. _Thank fuck._ Vagabond offered him a hand up and returned the gun. Jeremy blushed once he was back on his feet. _Jesus, I’m a total mess._ Vagabond started to leave and Jeremy snagged his jacket sleeve. He looked down at Jeremy with narrowed eyes.

“Um, w-would you like a copy?” Jeremy offered, “O-of the book, I mean.”

_Jesus, I’m so awkward._ Vagabond looked where his hand was still on his jacket. Jeremy let go, putting up his hand.

“S-sorry,” he mumbled.

Vagabond turned again, making for the exit. Jeremy wanted him to stay. He hadn’t actually hung around anyone for months. He’d turned into a total shut-in. Geoff asked for a progress report before following Vagabond out. Jeremy felt like a total loser. He’d been without people so long that even a murderer kissing him with his own gun was welcome as opposed to being alone again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, what’s up nerds? Heard you like these two dorks.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for less of them, more of my dumbass comments.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: gun play

Not-Tapp was twisting his hands anxiously in his lap. Ryan was sharpening a knife in a seat across from him. Not-Tapp was _not_ looking at him and Ryan was returning the favor. The guy was an awkward little shit. Ryan wondered how it was possible they were the same person. Tapp was way better. Ryan finished sharpening the knife and sheathed it.

He reached over to take his Diet Coke off the coffee table and not-Tapp’s eyes narrowed as he brought it up. He fed the straw through the bottom of the mask. Not-Tapp leaned forward, closely observing how he drank the soda. Ryan raised an eyebrow. _The fuck is this man doing?_

“Do you eat with it?” He asked.

Ryan frowned as he pulled the straw away. 

“Not usually,” he muttered.

“What does it feel like on your face?” Not-Tapp continued, “Is it uncomfortable?”

He sat forward further, looking genuinely interested. _What the fuck is happening?_

“It’s...sweaty,” Ryan admitted, “And it rubs a bit. And...It feels like I’m wearing it even when I’m not. Like the mask has imprinted on my face.”

Not-Tapp mouthed his words, eyes unfocused for a moment. He brightened up.

“That’s a good line!” He chirped, “Do you mind if I use it?”

Ryan just stared at him a moment.

“You...may do whatever you wish,” he muttered, looking down to the table.

_He wants to use my words?_ Ryan’s face felt warm. Not-Tapp typed into his phone a moment while Ryan reached for one of the guns needing to be cleaned. Not-Tapp stiffened, watching him closely as he picked it up. Ryan twirled it in his hand before rapidly disassembling it. He was staring pretty intently at Ryan’s hands as he cleaned the parts of the gun. Like he was studying his motions, committing them to memory.

“Dooley, bossman’s ready for you,” BrownMan called out as he joined them, “Careful how hard you stare at him. Vaggy might get the wrong idea.”

“I think he already has an idea,” Not-Tapp muttered, standing.

The tiniest smirk quirked up on his lips as he looked at Ryan before he turned and disappeared down the hall. Ryan’s heart stuttered in his chest. _He’s Tapp, but not Tapp._ Ryan’s own lips spread into a smirk. _Dooley._ He looked at the reassembled gun in his hand. 

He’d looked so damn thirsty when Ryan pressed that gun to his mouth. Like he might actually let his lips part and accept the muzzle on his tongue. Those doe eyes looking up at him, his body trembling, his face flushed. Ryan wanted him, but he knew it was just because he was Tapp. 

“So he’s submissive, right?” BrownMan spoke up next to him.

Ryan turned to look at him while he cleaned his sniper. He noticed him staring and raised an eyebrow.

“What?” He muttered.

“Why would I know?” Ryan grunted.

“Geoff said he tried to blow you,” BrownMan answered, “Did he not?”

“No, unless I missed it somehow,” Ryan snorted, “Which I find very unlikely.”

“Huh, okay,” BrownMan mumbled, shrugging, going back to his gun, “Well, he seems submissive, right?”

_He’s the most submissive slut I’ve ever seen in my life._

”Perhaps,” Ryan offered.

“Hey, does he have a boyfriend?” BrownMan pressed, “You were at his place.“

“He lives alone,” Ryan muttered.

BrownMan smirked.

“Perfect,” he murmured, “I’m gonna fucking destroy him.”

Ryan felt fire erupt inside him. _No. He’s not Tapp. I don’t care what BrownMan does to him._ BrownMan pushed the bolt action in place and looked over the gun. He didn’t look like he’d be able to destroy Dooley, but sometimes looks can be deceiving. As short as Tapp was, he could judo throw someone through a fucking wall.

Dooley would be hard to break. He was built like a brick wall and his ass no doubt could take a pounding before it got sore. Breaking him down emotionally would be easy. Ryan bet he’d be a sobbing, begging mess in three minutes, tops. Ryan was good at making people beg. Physically though, it’d take a lot of work to turn him to jelly. 

That was the state Ryan craved so much. Forcing him to enjoy himself until he couldn’t move any more. Then he’d press him down flat into his own mess and fuck his ass while he couldn’t do much about it. Ryan was getting hard just thinking about the pathetic noises that would come out of him when all he could do was take Ryan’s cock. He’d make him say thank you for it too. _Thank you, master!_

“Dooley, wait up!” BrownMan called, bringing Ryan from his lusty daze.

Dooley turned and smiled politely at BrownMan.

“It’s Jeremy,” he corrected, “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if I could get a copy of your book,” BrownMan answered, “Geoff’s always going on about you.”

Dooley blushed.

“O-oh, uh, sure,” He squeaked, “I have several copies at home. Friends and family copies. But I don’t have any of those, ha ha. I can bring a-a copy by next time.”

He had an adorable nervous laugh. 

“Take my number,” BrownMan suggested, “And I can drop by some time to hang out.”

Dooley looked like sunshine.

“R-really?” He demanded brightly, “You want to hang out with me?”

Starved for attention. Attention BrownMan was giving him. Ryan’s teeth clenched. _He’s not Tapp. Stop getting jealous!_

“Of course,” BrownMan answered, “You seem like fun.”

Dooley was like a little puppy getting called a good boy. He was practically wagging his tail. They exchanged numbers and BrownMan left the room. Ryan tried to unclench his hand from the grip he’d just made a split in. _I’m going batshit. He’s not Tapp!_

“Hey, uh, V?” Dooley called softly, “You...can still have a copy. I-if you want...or...j-just my number.”

“What is it?” Ryan prompted absently.

Dooley recited it to him and Ryan quickly memorized it. He probably wasn’t going to text him, but at least he had it now. Dooley left with a cheerful “see you later” in parting. Ryan waited fifteen minutes before putting the number in his phone. He was trying his best to focus on the guns, but he wasn’t doing very well.

He ran his thumb over the muzzle of the gun in his hand. If he was trapped here, there was no real reason not to see Dooley. But six months later he was still praying for a miracle to send him back to Tapp. Ryan didn’t want to acknowledge how much he missed him nor how lonely he was, but he knew the truth. His heart ached fiercely. 

He was an absolute wreck without Tapp. Before Tapp, no one mattered, but now that he lost the one person he’d cared about, his whole self was going haywire. That sentiment about not realizing what you have until you lose it seemed to turn out pretty accurate. He wasn’t convinced Dooley was the answer to his loneliness, but his dick was 100% sure he was. 

His dick unfortunately had a lot of say in the matter.

~

Three weeks Jeremy had been going to see Geoff regularly. The excuse was working with the editor and having Geoff give him some support with the publishers. They were screwing him over on the first book and Geoff was helping him fight them over the second. Geoff had also been reading the first draft of the second book, offering surprisingly amazing feedback. While it had originally been an excuse to catch glimpses of the Vagabond, Geoff’s support had become invaluable.

_I definitely do catch glimpses of the Vagabond though,_ Jeremy mused as he climbed in bed. He’d been half-hard his whole way home thinking about Vagabond playing with the guns. Now alone in the dark, it was no surprise to him that his mind went right to that night he’d shown up to Jeremy’s apartment. Jeremy was sure they’d been about to do some very kinky, very unsafe things with his gun when Geoff showed up.

He took his lube in his hand and pushed down his boxers that weren’t doing anything to contain him anyway. Three weeks of this as well, jerking off any day he managed to see the Vagabond looming around somewhere. He shuddered as his lubed hand gripped his own cock. Cold.

_“Open your mouth, Detective Dooley,” Vagabond would order._

_Jeremy would hesitate, worried about whether the safety was on. Vagabond would press more insistently._

_“Now,” He’d growl._

_Jeremy would open his mouth as wide as he could manage, breath heavy as the gun slid over his tongue. He’d have to twist it sideways to get anything done._

_“Suck,” Vagabond would grunt, “Like it’s a cock, little slut.”_

_Jeremy would moan at being called a slut and suck the gun further in his mouth. He’d grip Vagabond’s hand where it was holding the gun and swirl his tongue around the quickly warming metal. It’d be hard and awkward, but Jeremy would blow the gun, desperately trying to show the Vagabond he could be useful to him._

Jeremy panted as his hand moved quickly on himself, gripping his sheets tightly. How would the Vagabond look and sound when he finally broke? _Just like Ryan,_ Jeremy’s mind whispered. 

_“Y-you want my c-cock, little slut?” He’d groan, “Bet you think about it all day, p-praying today’ll be the day your master finally gives it to you.”_

_Jeremy would nod as well as he could around the gun. Vagabond would pull the gun from his mouth and toss it, fumbling for his pants with shaky hands. Jeremy would obediently stay still, mouth open, the tang of Metal and gun oil heavy on his tongue. Vagabond would groan as he slid over Jeremy’s tongue. It would be so easy to get him off, he’d be so worked up._

Ryan liked to break his partners. He wanted them to be desperate for it. That meant he would often also be quite desperate by the end of it. His thighs would tremble while he rutted frantically into Jeremy’s face, gripping his hair tightly. Jeremy would rub himself through his jeans, moaning at how bad his jaw and throat ached. Ryan would cum in three minutes, tops. Jeremy would swallow it all up like a good boy and Ryan would reward him by jerking him off. 

“F-fuck,” Jeremy hissed as he came, “R-Ryan...”

After he caught his breath, he went red. _Jesus, I did it again! Ryan’s not real!_ He threw his clean hand over his eyes. Who jerks off to their own character?! He sighed. He really needed to stop dragging Vagabond into it as well. He was attracted to Vagabond because of his uncanny resemblance to Ryan and it wasn’t fair to treat the man like a stand-in for someone who wasn’t even real. 

Jeremy dropped his arm to look over at his art desk. The work in progress of Vagabond looming above him seemed to stare at him accusingly.

“No one asked you,” he huffed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Ray was never heard from again.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for more murderous jealousy.


	4. Chapter 4

Ryan watched Dooley walk down the hallway out of the corner of his eye. _He’s here again. Looking exhausted. What the hell does he come here for?? Just because Geoff likes his book?_ Ryan’s eyes narrowed. _No. He wouldn’t come in three days in a row just because Geoff liked his book._

Ryan found himself outside Geoff’s office in seconds. He raised a fist to immediately smash through the door, but hesitated. _Stop it! He’s not Tapp!_ He clenched his jaw.

“Psst, V! Over here!”

Ryan turned to see Gold waving him over. He frowned, but cautiously approached him. He was always nervous around Gold. He’d seen Ryan’s face, even if he didn’t remember it. Gold gestured him into his office and tugged him over to the wall that separated his from Geoff’s. 

“-take the contract and wipe my fucking ass with it!” Dooley growled.

Gold pointed up at the vent. It connected to Geoff’s office.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that!” Geoff howled around laughter, “That was hilarious!”

“No it wasn’t,” Dooley groaned miserably, “Now they’re definitely going to ass fuck me again.”

“They already were,” Geoff pointed out, “Listen, Dooley, just say the word and I go burn down an office.”

“Geoff, please don’t,” Dooley grumbled, “I have enough trouble without also being linked to arson. God, what am I going to do??”

“We could go covert,” Geoff suggested.

Gold tugged at Ryan’s belt, distracting him a moment. Ryan looked at him sharply and he just grinned, putting a finger over his lips. 

“Geoff, no offense,” Jeremy grumbled, “I don’t want to owe you any more favors.”

Ryan smacked away Gold’s grabby hands. Gold pouted. 

“I’ve told you, you don’t owe me anything,” Geoff dismissed, “I like your books. Speaking of, I finished off the last three chapters you gave me.”

There was a pause and Gold walked away grumbling “boring” under his breath.

“What do you mean, too plastic?” Dooley grunted, “Vagabond is a mask.”

Ryan perked up only to immediately deflate. _Right. Character._

“Yeah, but you’re not showing the guy underneath enough,” Geoff insisted, “There’s flesh under the plastic. You’re not giving us enough.”

“He’s not giving me enough,” Dooley snorted.

“So you are basing it off him?” Geoff prompted.

“Who?” Dooley muttered, “Oh, no. I mean, I need to connect to the character more. I just...I need to know...less facts about him, more feelings.”

“You’re not making any sense, Dooley,” Geoff grumbled, “Maybe you should base him off our Vagabond.”

Ryan’s eyebrows went up.

“I have tried to talk to him,” Dooley mumbled, “But I don’t think he likes me much.”

“Eh, well, you never know,” Geoff suggested, “Maybe if you bug him enough he’ll break down eventually. That’s how it was with me and Gavin.”

“Oi!” Gold shouted, “Watch it, Ramsey!”

Ryan decided to make a quick exit, stifling laughter as Dooley sputtered in embarrassment at being eavesdropped on. _Break me down eventually._ He smiled lightly as he went back to the living room. _Yeah, maybe._

~

Jeremy huffed, covering his blushing face as Geoff and Gavin bickered. _Jesus, how much of that did he hear??_ He took the edited chapters and left, quickly trying to exit the embarrassing situation. He shuffled down the hallway toward the living room. 

_Break him down._ He snorted, shaking his head. It didn’t matter. He knew Ryan, knew how to write him and the Vagabond. It was actually seeing this Vagabond that was confusing him. His brain couldn’t slot into the right frame of mind. He kept thinking of this one, the one he knew nothing about, instead of the one he created. 

He needed less contact, not more. He was totally mucking up Ryan because he kept thinking about whoever was under _this_ mask. It was no wonder he was coming off plastic, plastic was all he knew about this Vagabond. His hand was on the doorknob when he realized _this_ Vagabond was watching him.

“Detective Dooley,” He greeted him.

“V-vagabond,” Jeremy returned nervously, “Well, h-have a good evening.”

He left quickly, before his awkward mouth could start running again. _Stay away from him._ Jeremy just needed to focus on writing. He needed to ignore whatever thing was there because it was dangerous. It was getting into his head. It was nothing but trouble.

~

_This is trouble._ Ryan squeezed his fist tightly. His watch beeped and he dropped to the window sill below. He flicked out a knife and slipped it between the window panes, wiggling the latch open. He pushed the window up and ducked inside.

He closed the window behind him and moved to the computer. He clicked on the blacklight flashlight and shined it over the keyboard. “WEYASDHN” lit up under the light. He frowned at it a moment. _Ash Wednesday._ He typed it in and the computer unlocked. He opened the documents folder and quickly found “clients”. He deleted the file he was looking for and wiped it from the computer. 

Then he opened chrome and searched their google documents, deleting the copy of the file. Then he opened their email and deleted every interaction related to the file. After he was convinced there was no trace of the file on the computer, he locked it and moved to the filing cabinet to retrieve the physical copy of the file. He rolled it up and tucked it away before moving back to the window. 

He ducked out and relocked the window. He waited for his watch to beep, then dropped to the next window down and then to the ground. He hurried off to where he’d parked his bike. _Flawless._ He dropped the file and poured lighter fluid on it. He lit a match and watched it burn until he was completely sure it was totally destroyed. _I’m in way too fucking deep._

He’d gone out of his way for the guy. He’d decided, hadn’t he? _He’s not Tapp, but..._ he squeezed his stinging eyes closed. _But I’m never going to see him again, am I?_ He dropped to his knees in front of the ashes. _I’m never going to see him again._

~

_Bzzt bzzt bzzt!_

Jeremy cracked an eye open and reached for his phone. _Publisher? Yikes. Probably gonna get chewed out._

“Hello,” He croaked tiredly.

“Mr. Dooley, I’m sorry to tell you this,” the publisher spoke, “But your contract has been lost. In fact, we have no record of you whatsoever.”

Jeremy sat up straight. _Geoff, I swear to Christ!_

“We’d like to negotiate a new contract with you,” They offered.

“Go fuck yourself,” Jeremy suggested, hanging up.

He called Geoff, standing up to pace angrily. 

“Dooley, what?” Geoff grumbled, “Its fucking ten in the morning.”

“Geoff! What did you do?!” Jeremy hissed.

“Uh, you’re gonna have to be specific,” Geoff grunted.

“The publisher!” Jeremy snapped, “They just lost my fucking file?! I find that hard to believe!”

There was a pause.

“The publisher lost your file,” Geoff muttered, “Wait, isn’t that good news?”

Jeremy frowned. 

“You’re saying you didn’t do it?” He mumbled.

“What? No!” Geoff huffed, “You were so bitchy about it.”

Jeremy’s frown deepened.

“Who the hell did it, if it wasn’t you?” He murmured, “You’re the only one who gives a damn.”

“That’s not true,” Geoff denied, “B-Man is all about you now. He’s got like a major crush on you.”

Jeremy blushed. _Wait, really? Someone has a crush on me? Then...did he lose the file?_ Jeremy felt a flutter in his stomach. He and Ray hadn’t been talking that much since he came over and got the book. Maybe he just really liked the book.

“Um, a-anyway, I guess I’m free now,” he continued, shaking his head, “I need a new publisher. How ‘bout it, Geoff?”

“What?” 

“You wanna make a publishing company?” Jeremy clarified, “Didn’t you say if I could get out, you’d publish it yourself?”

“Oh, shit,” Geoff muttered, “I guess we _can_ do that now.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. _Dork._ After they hung up, he sat on his bed. Was it really Ray who did it? It just didn’t seem likely someone who barely knew him would go to that effort for him. He dropped back on the bed. Maybe Fake AH was just full of lovable assholes.

_ Bzz. _

Jeremy looked at his phone and shot up to a sitting position again. 

_Unknown:_ Hello, Detective Dooley, this is Vagabond.

His eyes just stared widely at the phone in shock. _What the fuck?! He actually texted me! What?!_ He squeezed his phone so hard he thought it might break. He had never imagined Vagabond would actually text him. His hands shook as he typed a reply.

To Unknown: _Hey, V. You can call me Jeremy._

Jeremy felt somewhat confident that was a normal response. He’d been doing alright with texting Ray, but texting the Vagabond felt riskier. Felt like any text could be his last. 

_Unknown:_ I could, but I’m not going to.

Jeremy snorted, rolling his eyes.

To Unknown: _Did you text me just to be rude?_

_Unknown:_ No, I texted you because you seemed like you really wanted me to.

Jeremy dropped the phone in his lap to cover his burning face. He’d been so awkwardly obvious the day before yesterday, sputtering about giving him his number. But...if he knew Jeremy was thirsty as fuck and texted him willingly, did that mean he was into it? Jeremy bit his lip hesitantly as he picked his phone back up, hands trembling. He had said Jeremy was his type, so maybe?

_Unknown:_ So what is it _you_ want, Detective Dooley?

Jeremy hesitated, thumbs over his keypad. _This is flirting, isn’t it? He’s flirting with me._ He went red, tapping his phone on his forehead, trying to come up with something to say. 

To Unknown: _I want whatever you’ll give me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got done mega fast today. Probably because I buried my face in writing to avoid mother’s day. 
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for more sad.


	5. Chapter 5

Ryan was on his bike before he realized he hadn’t put on the Vagabond gear. _Shit._ He jogged back inside. _Whatever you’ll give me._ Ryan had never before been so fucking ready to destroy someone. He brushed his hair, pulling it up into a ponytail. His hands were shaking.

Six months of fucking nothing but his own fist every time he caught sight of Dooley was doing _nothing_ to calm him down. _It’s just sex,_ he reminded himself, _and it’s just Dooley._ He put on deodorant and cologne. 

It wasn’t like he was nervous. Who would be nervous over Dooley? That was ridiculous. He didn’t care what Dooley thought. He cleared his throat and swiped on some of his face paint over his eyes. _Get your shit together, Haywood._

Everything would be better after he fucked him, Ryan was sure. He just needed to get this desire out of him, then he’d relax. One time thing. Then he’d move on, right? Except he’d freed him from his publishing contract with no selfish motivation. That wasn’t something you do for a one night stand.

He gripped the edge of his bathroom sink. It felt like cheating. Even though he hadn’t actually been with Tapp, it felt like being with Dooley was being unfaithful to him. But this was his home now. He wasn’t getting back. He needed to just let it happen. 

~

_Ding dong!_

Jeremy jumped in surprise. Ray was coming over later. It was way too early to be him. Maybe he got available sooner than expected. He hurried to his door. He opened it to Vagabond instead of Ray and Vagabond pushed in immediately. He closed and locked the door, immediately gripping the front of Jeremy’s shirt and dragging him down the hall to his bedroom. 

“Um, V? Wh-What-?”

“Quiet,” Vagabond growled.

He shoved Jeremy onto his own bed and yanked his sweats down. Jeremy blushed deep crimson at how hard he already was, boner pushing out of his boxers. He covered his burning face. 

“Look at you, all ready for it,” Vagabond taunted, tugging at his underwear, “I knew it. You want me to fuck you, little slut?”

“Y-Yes,” Jeremy squeaked, still behind his hands, “P-please.”

It genuinely concerned him how quickly he dropped into it.

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Vagabond teased.

He walked around the bed and Jeremy’s hands lowered to watch him. He blushed deeper as he realized his lube was on top of his nightstand. _Easy access._ Because he’d been jerking off so much. Vagabond smirked under the mask as he plucked the bottle off the stand. 

“Been thinking about me?” He taunted as he slipped onto the bed, “Been touching yourself every day you see me, haven’t you?”

Jeremy recovered his face as Vagabond pulled his clothes fully off. 

“Y-Yes,” He squeaked again.

“So honest,” Vagabond cooed, “What a good boy. Are you ready?”

He rubbed lube over Jeremy’s asshole.

“Y-Yes, please!” Jeremy moaned.

Vagabond pushed his finger inside him and Jeremy puffed out a sigh. His tensed up back relaxed, pushing him against Vagabond’s hand. He moved his hands to only cover his mouth. Vagabond’s finger worked in and out of him while Jeremy huffed and groaned against his hands. He pressed a second finger inside him and Jeremy’s spine twisted. A muffled moan vibrated against his hands.

“Yeah, you like b-being filled up, baby?” Vagabond grunted, “Little slut, I’m gonna fill you up so g-good.”

“P-please!” Jeremy cried out, “M-more please!”

Vagabond jabbed a third finger inside him. Jeremy twisted up away from it, gripping the sheets as his eyes watered. He whined from the pain as Vagabond fucked his fingers into him too hard, too fast. Well, too hard, too fast was relative, because Jeremy was loving it, his cock leaking onto the sheets. 

“F-fuck, you look amazing,” Vagabond groaned, “So slutty. You love me bein’ rough with you, don’t you?”

He pushed Jeremy’s leg up out of his way to finger him deeper. Jeremy’s knee was pressed towards his chest as he sobbed, twisted on his side. 

“So flexible,” Vagabond noted breathlessly, “I wanna f-fold you up and tie you in p-place while I use you like a little fucktoy.”

He shifted his hand, rubbing his fingers over his prostate.

“R-Ry-!” Jeremy gasped.

He came like a gunshot, hips jerking forward as his cum landed across his sheets. Vagabond flipped him, shoving him flat into his bed as he trembled with his aftershocks. Jeremy whimpered as Vagabond ripped open a condom wrapper and he lifted to watch as he rolled the condom on himself. 

His eyes went wide. _What the fuck?! That’s Ryan’s dick! That’s exactly what it looks like! I’ve drawn it enough to know!_ He hissed as Vagabond pushed it inside him. He may have exaggerated his ability to take it. He groaned miserably as he pressed slowly into him.

“Ffffucking Christ,” Vagabond moaned, humping against him, “Too long. No more. I’m gonna fuck you every day.”

Jeremy blushed even as he sobbed in pain. Vagabond gripped the back of his neck and pushed his other hand against the small of his back. He let out a strained groan as he came. Jeremy shuddered as Vagabond slumped over him. 

“Y-you’re mine now,” he whispered breathlessly, “Say it.”

“I-I’m yours,” Jeremy murmured.

“Good boy,” Vagabond praised, nuzzling his mask against Jeremy’s neck.

“D-did you-“

_Ding dong!_

“Fuck!” Jeremy hissed, pushing him away, “I-I totally forgot Ray was coming over! St-stay here!”

He yanked on his clothes and stumbled out of his room.

~

Ryan smirked at the way Dooley staggered out of the room, limping from what Ryan just did to his ass. Ryan tossed the condom and tucked himself back in his pants. He stretched his back and sighed. _Much better._

He glanced around Dooley’s room, flinching when he saw a mirror. Wait, no. It didn’t move. It was a picture. A drawing. Ryan frowned, getting off the bed to take a closer look. An art desk sat against the wall and all around it were cork boards covered in drawings. 75% were of the Vagabond. 

Ryan smirked, brushing his fingers over the drawings. _He’s totally obsessed with me. What a cute, crazy little whore._ His amusement dried up when his eyes landed on one particular drawing. One of the few non-Vagabond drawings was of Rimmy Tim. Three iterations of Rimmy’s costume. Beta versions of the one Ryan was familiar with. 

_Dooley is Rimmy Tim._

Was he preparing to fight the Vagabond as the Rimmy of his universe did? But why would he do that if he was so damn thirsty for the Vagabond? Also, if this Rimmy was Dooley, did that make Ryan’s Rimmy Tapp? He took a closer look at the beta versions of the costumes.

They didn’t cover his face completely like the final one did. There was no doubt about it, Tapp was the Rimmy Tim of Ryan’s universe. A vigilante seeking justice because the police of LA were useless. Ryan smiled lightly. That actually made perfect sense. Tapp was a good man frustrated with the system. It also explained why Rimmy had felt so familiar to him. 

They were more similar than Ryan had thought. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.He’d been trying so hard to separate the two and now they were blending together. The lines distinguishing Dooley from Tapp were blurry. 

~

“Hey, hi,” Jereny greeted breathlessly, “Th-this isn’t a good time.”

Ray’s eyebrows went up. 

“You have someone over,” he muttered, “That’s a bit rude, my dude.”

“I-it was spontaneous,” Jeremy mumbled, blushing, “I didn’t plan to ditch you.”

“Yeah, whatever, man,” Ray grumbled, “I’ll see you later.”

Jeremy winced as he walked away. He’d fucked up his only friendship. Because he was such a whore. _Damnit._ And he’d planned to ask Ray if he was the one that lost the contract for him. He wanted to do it face-to-face so he could tell if he was lying or not. He closed his door quietly and rested his forehead against it.

_I’m such a goddamn mess._ Speaking of messes. Vagabond. _He’s fucking Ryan! He has to be! How could he possibly have the exact same dick as Ryan and not be him?_ And he was the Vagabond. There were too many coincidences. He was Ryan. That was it. 

He’d popped up about five months ago, suddenly exploding on the LS scene from out of nowhere. He was untraceable, unknown, and unstoppable. Five months. That was about when Jeremy had started book two. Had starting the second book suddenly yanked Ryan into reality? 

He recalled the way he’d demanded to know what Jeremy knew about him. He didn’t know he was a fictional character willed into being by the sheer force of Jeremy’s horniness. Jeremy had a feeling it wouldn’t end well for him if he did find out. This was the sort of revelation that caused existential crisis times ten. And Ryan dealt with every crisis in one way. _With a knife._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo. I hooked you up with that good smut, now hook me up by following me @1stworldmutant and donating if you can! Love you guys!! 😊


	6. Chapter 6

Jeremy felt like he was going crazy. Ryan, the character he created as someone who would love him and love fucking him, was real. He’d stepped out of his book and into reality. It couldn’t be true. There was no way. But...

He chewed on his lip. _I need to see under his mask. I need to get closer._ He needed to know if he was just a crazy person or if this was real. Maybe he was just seeing what he wanted to see. Or maybe the love of his life had just dicked him down so good he felt like he could fly.

He jumped a bit as arms wrapped around him and Vagabond rested his chin on Jeremy’s shoulder. He relaxed, smiling lightly. _So warm. Could a fictional character really be so warm?_ No, he was being dumb. He was projecting. Vagabond was just Vagabond. 

“Hey, you wanna help me with something today?” Vagabond murmured, “I got a job that could use some muscle.”

Jeremy blushed. Was he muscle material? 

“Is this...criminal activity?” He questioned hesitantly. 

“Hmm, it is,” Vagabond hummed, “But it’s a regular Robin Hood type story.”

Jeremy looked up.

“We’re gonna steal from the rich and give to the poor?” He grunted, “I find that hard to believe.”

“Baby, I may be a serial killer,” Vagabond joked, “But I’m a huge fan of justice.”

“Don’t you fall under the umbrella of someone needing to face justice?” Jeremy snorted.

“I’m counting on facing it,” Vagabond mumbled, “Cops and politicians aren’t above it, neither am I.”

Jeremy searched his blue eyes a moment, trying to look deeply into his soul. _Ryan, is that you? Do I really want it to be you?_ He reached up and Vagabond’s hand snatched his wrist. His eyes flashed in anger.

“I’m not going to take it off,” Jeremy assured him.

Vagabond hesitated, uncertainty and anxiety clear in his eyes as he searched Jeremy for signs of lying. He loosened his grip, letting Jeremy reach for his face. He brushed his knuckles over the cheekbone of the mask. Vagabond swallowed, eyes flicking down to Jeremy’s lips. Jeremy stood up on his toes and kissed the mask. 

Vagabond shuddered, caressing his cheek and pressing the mask back against Jeremy’s lips. He ran his hand through Jeremy’s hair and crowded him against the door. He pressed the mask up to his ear.

“Tell me who you belong to,” he whispered.

“I’m yours,” Jeremy murmured breathlessly.

His heart pounded in his chest that was tight with emotion. _If he is Ryan then...he’ll love me. But it won’t be real, will it?_ He pressed his face into his shirt. He smelled like expensive cologne. Vagabond brushed his hand through his hair again.

“By the way, nice drawings,” He commented.

Jeremy stiffened, face flaming up in embarrassment and Vagabond laughed. 

“Th-they’re not you!” Jeremy insisted into his chest, “M-my character looks just like you!”

“Uh-huh,” Vagabond laughed, “The one of me looking down on you, that from your book?”

“I...m-may have drawn one of you,” Jeremy mumbled.

“Adorable little stalker, aren’t you?” Vagabond teased.

“N-no!” Jeremy denied.

_Let’s not talk about the fact I was going to Geoff’s just to see you._

“Bet you went to Geoff’s just to see me,” Vagabond taunted.

_Damnit._ He just laughed.

“So are you gonna help me or what?” He pressed.

Jeremy leaned back to look up at him. Ryan’s beautiful blue eyes looked down at him plain as day, sparkling like the ocean. _I need to know._

“I’ll...help,” he finally answered, “I’m gonna regret this, aren’t I?”

Vagabond laughed, his eyes glinting in a downright evil way. He leaned down so the mask was even with Jeremy’s face. Jeremy swallowed, heart pounding in his chest.

“Darlin’, you already sold your soul,” Vagabond answered, voice full of amusement.

Jeremy could see his smirk imprinted in his mind like a tattoo.

~

“What?!” Dooley shrieked.

Ryan frowned, raising an eyebrow at him.

“It’s Cooperson?!” Dooley demanded, fists clenched.

“Yes?” Ryan answered, frowning, “Are we gonna have a problem?”

He crossed his arms.

_“We’re_ not,” Jeremy growled, _“We’re_ about to rob that skeevy fucker for all he’s worth.”

Ryan grinned.

“So you’ve heard of him,” He laughed, relaxing his arms, “And you’re not a fan.”

Dooley crossed his arms and paced angrily.

“Fucking asshole,” he grumbled, “Do you have any idea how many times we almost got him only to have him slither his way out?? Slimy bastard. I want to strangle the fucker. So yeah, not a fan.”

_I think I’m corrupting him._ Ryan’s grin got wider. _Rimmy Tim could be a criminal in this world. How delightful._

“Well, let’s go strangle him then,” he suggested brightly.

Dooley threw him a dark look. 

“I’m not actually going to strangle him,” he muttered.

“Aw, spoilsport,” Ryan pouted.

“Maybe a little bit of strangling,” Dooley joked.

Ryan stepped closer, taking his chin in hand.

“Bet you’d like a little bit of strangling,” he teased in a low voice.

A visible pulse went through Dooley, but his eyes didn’t leave Ryan’s. Ryan got goosebumps at the dark look in Dooley’s eyes.

“I said anything you’d give me, didn’t I?” He whispered, voice firm.

His doe eyes were almost defiant as he stared into Ryan’s. Ryan’s lips pulled into a smirk as he leaned in.

“Is that a challenge?” He sneered.

Dooley was red-faced, but he didn’t back off.

“Yes.”

Ryan’s eyes dropped to Dooley’s throat. It bobbed as he swallowed. Ryan wanted to use it as a handle while he bounced him on his cock. 

“You are so fucked after we’re done with this,” he warned.

Dooley smirked at him.

“Counting on it, darlin’,” He assured him, before turning away.

Ryan almost tackled him to the ground and fucked him on the pavement. He settled for smacking his ass as he passed him to lead the way. _What dangerous little slut you are, Dooley. Now let’s see what you can really do._

Ryan led him through the lawn of Cooperson’s neighbor, keeping low as they approached the weak spot in the fence. He paused to start his watch timer before turning to Dooley. Before he even asked, he had his hands out, ready to give him a boost. Ryan stepped in his interlocked hands almost launching too high when Dooley gave him a legitimate boost up to the top of the fence. _Damn, muscle is right._

He leaned down to offer Dooley a hand and was surprised again. Dooley gripped his hand, but before he could pull, Dooley ran up the fence and launched himself halfway up. Ryan’s breath caught in his throat as Dooley settled in front of him. _Fuck. I’ve caught feelings, haven’t I?_ His watch beeped and he swung his leg off to drop to the ground. Dooley followed quickly.

Ryan pointed out the garden path and Dooley nodded, following closely behind him. They moved through the forest like garden quick and quiet, moving in sync with Ryan’s timer. They made it to the maze and slipped in through one of the side entrances. Ryan frowned. 

He’d barely gone one turn in and it was already wrong. It wasn’t the layout he’d found. He hesitated, glancing around. _Fuck._ This was going to become a pain in his ass real quick. He didn’t like getting lost. His watch beeped startling him and he stopped, quickly turning it off. Where the fuck was he? 

“Vagabond?” Dooley whispered, startling him.

_Fuck._ He’d forgotten he was there. He turned back to him, face hot with embarrassment. He didn’t want to admit he was lost. Half because it terrified him, half because Dooley would laugh at him. Dooley took his hand and squeezed it. He smiled lightly at him and took the lead. 

All Ryan could do was stumble after him like a complete dumbass. Dooley’s hand hovered over the left side of the hedge maze as they moved. Before long, he’d led them to the center where they needed to be. Ryan shook himself out of his daze to move towards the angel statue. 

The marble angel’s hand was outstretched as though it was offering salvation. _I can save you._ Ryan reached for the offering. _Do you promise?_ His black-clad hand laid gently over the white marble hand. _No, demon._ The arm of the statue tilted down with a click. _No one can save you._ The ground opened below him. 

~

Jeremy dove for Vagabond as he dropped. He managed to snag his wrist, gripping tightly as he slid across the ground. His other hand clawed at the dirt, trying to stop his body from going over the edge of the hole. As his torso dropped over, his belt buckle caught on the edge, halting his momentum and he grunted. 

“Fucking Christ!” He hissed, “You heavy bastard! What are you all muscle?!”

_Here I thought he was all cock._ He scooted back awkwardly, trying to not dangle by only his belt buckle. His arm was trembling as he did his best to hold on. 

“D-Dooley, stop,” Vagabond mumbled, “It’s okay. It’s not that deep.”

Jeremy cracked his eyes open, puffing out a relieved sigh. Though Vagabond would’ve cracked at least one ankle if he’d dead dropped in the hole, it did look mostly safe. Despite the lack of direness, Vagabond was looking at him like he’d just saved his life. 

He carefully let him drop. Vagabond landed gracefully on the bottom like a cat. He looked back up immediately and held his arms out for Jeremy. Jeremy didn’t hesitate to drop into his arms. That amount of trust probably should’ve scared him, but it didn’t. Vagabond grunted as he caught him.

_“I’m_ all muscle?” He huffed.

“You brought me for my muscle,” Jeremy pointed out, “There’s also a ladder, but you offered.”

He pointed out the ladder and Vagabond looked over. Then he looked back at him. Jeremy grinned smugly.

“You just wanted to hold me, didn’t you?” He teased.

Vagabond’s eyes darted away. He’s blushing. He dropped Jeremy abruptly and Jeremy grunted as he landed. He started to sit up only to get a boot on his sternum. 

“I won’t be forgetting this,” Vagabond growled, “Cheeky little shit. I’ll be punishing you after this is over.”

Jeremy flushed.

“I l-look forward to it, master,” he huffed.

“Slut,” Vagabond sneered. 

He moved away and Jeremy quickly caught his breath as he staggered to his feet. He looked up from the hole into the night sky. Oh, he was in it deep now and he didn’t mean just physically.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have read this chapter, double check that you read the previous one. I had a little mix up. 😅
> 
> TW: stabbing, vomiting

Andrew Joseph Cooperson was a Los Santos native who dealt in forgeries, drugs, and prostitution. He was well-connected and richer than any man really had the right to be. The image conjured up by this description is probably something like a balding white man with tacky suits and a creepy smile who weirdly looked both young and old at the same time.

It was an accurate description. He was the sort of man whose looks matched what he was: slimy. Aside from his major crimes, he appeared to revel in making people miserable, uncomfortable, or inconvenienced in any way he could. He stole things he didn’t need from people who did need them. He was a close-talker. And worst yet, he’d purposely leaked the wrong layout of his maze to the public. Then his secret entrance turned out to have a double use as a trap.

Ryan wasn’t happy. Cooperson had forced him to rely on Dooley. Twice. While he likely would’ve figured it out or simply just left, Dooley had negated the need for plan b. But it meant Ryan owed him. He didn’t like owing people almost as much as he didn’t like getting lost.  Just because he was falling head over heels for the short-stack, didn’t mean he wanted to owe him. So Cooperson had to die.

Dooley followed Ryan up the ladder into the mansion, looking a bit nervous as he glanced around. They were in the basement, the place filled with crates of Cooperson’s less impressive pieces of his vast collection. These were all the pieces he didn’t care about, but knew someone did and therefore had to have them. _What an unbelievable tool._ Dooley checked out the crates as they passed on the way to the stairs. He abruptly halted at one and lifted the partially opened lid. 

“What are you doing?” Ryan grumbled.

Dooley jumped, clutching his chest.

“Shit, forgot you were there,” he muttered, “This crate...”

It was tall and filled with packing. He hopped up on the edge of the crate, bending at his waist to dig to the bottom. Though Ryan had to wonder if it was just an excuse for Dooley to put his ass up for him. His toes didn’t quite reach the floor. _So tiny._

Ryan almost had to turn around to stop himself from compromising the job. He recalled Dooley’s firm hand on his wrist. _He could bench-press me, could more than judo throw me through a wall. Yet he really meant it when he said he’d take whatever I gave him. He’s gonna get real fucked up after this job._ Dooley finally pulled out of the crate and dropped back to the floor.

“This,” He grunted, holding up his prize, “Belongs to Ray.”

_Who the fuck is Ray?_ The object was a handgun with pink and red roses on the grip. _BrownMan is who the fuck Ray is._ Dooley spun the gun around his finger and tucked it in his jeans. _They’re on first name basis now??_

Ryan stewed in anger as they started back on their trek to the stairs. _Ray._ That’s the one he panicked about being at the door earlier. _Ray._ The one who made him look so forlorn when he left. _Ray._ The one he’d just halted a job for. _Ray._ The one who was going to “fucking destroy him”. _Ray._

Had they fucked? Ryan checked his watch as they jogged up the stairs. He paused at the top, waiting for the right time. Had they gone on dates? He set the timer and opened the basement door. He glanced around, double checking no one was about before stepping from the basement. 

Dooley followed closely, surprisingly quiet for a man made purely of muscle. They went for the private office first to get access to all of Cooperson’s accounts. Ryan transferred the money to the accounts Gold had set up while Dooley opened the safe. Ryan was surprised he knew how to crack a safe. He was a pig after all. 

After they had sufficiently robbed the man, they headed for his bedroom. Ryan’s watch beeped and he drew his knife as they entered. Ryan approached the slimy lump on the bed slowly. 

Moonlight streamed in the window, illuminating the room to show him what a pale, pathetic man Cooperson was. Ryan carefully straddled the man’s waist and put a hand over his mouth. Cooperson woke up in a panic, thrashing about. Of course he was too weak to actually do any damage to Ryan. Ryan waited for the panicked response to relax and allow him to speak clearly.

“Hello there, Mr. Cooperson,” he greeted cheerfully, “Welcome to your trial. In this case, Cooperson versus the city of Los Santos, I am the judge, jury, and executioner. So!”

He leaned forward, eyes going blank to stare at the other man. 

“I’m going to move my hand,” he continued, voice losing all warmth, “And you’re going to tell me why I shouldn’t gut you like the filthy animal you are.”

He moved his hand, knife still at his throat. Cooperson trembled, panic and fear so clearly visible as it shuddered through him. He was crying. _Weak._

“I-I’ll give you whatever you want!” He sobbed.

Ryan rolled his eyes. _Boring._ He pressed his knife harder to his throat.

“Wrong answer,” he sneered, “You have been found guilty. Your sentence is death.”

“We’ll be seeing you in hell, Cooperson,” Dooley growled, “Have a nice trip.”

Cooperson started to speak, but Ryan covered his mouth again and stabbed the knife into the man’s heart. He twisted it for good measure before leaping up and gripping Dooley, shoving him against the wall. 

“Close your eyes,” he barked, “You open them, you lose them.”

“Y-Yes, sir,” Dooley muttered shakily.

He squeezed his eyes closed and Ryan ripped the mask off to slam his mouth against Dooley’s. Dooley gasped against him and pressed back. Ryan pushed his hand through Dooley’s hair, gripping a fistful of it while he bit his lip. Dooley was shaking, hands pawing at Ryan’s shirt. 

How often had Ryan fantasized about fucking Tapp at a crime scene? Shoving his pretty face against the wall while he weakly protested about contaminating the scene. Fucking him until he finally begged to cum. He’d cry too. Sobbing at getting fucked raw and dry. 

But Dooley wasn’t Tapp and they weren’t cops. This was better. _Doing crime, taunting victims, adrenaline pumping._ Ryan wanted him bad, wanted to fuck his brains out then hold him closely while he calmed down afterwards. Fate was cruel to his dick. His watch beeped. He pulled off with an annoyed grunt and replaced the mask.

“Come on,” he muttered bitterly, “Time to go.”

“Back the way we came?” Dooley asked.

“Oh, no, we’ll be going out the garage,” Ryan answered.

Dooley clapped his hands together, eyes sparkling. Ryan grinned at him. _So fucking cute._ He ruffled his hair and Dooley blushed. 

“You go ahead,” Ryan instructed, “I need to look for something. Pick out whatever you want.”

Dooley gripped his jacket and pulled it down, kissing the mask again.

“You’re the best!” He squealed excitedly.

He let go and hurried off while Ryan felt warm suddenly. He shook his head. _No feelings!_ The tiny smile didn’t drop as he moved to Cooperson’s nightstand to retrieve the Bible. Geoff had been very specific about it for some reason. Before he opened the nightstand, he noted there was another book on top of it.

~

Jeremy squeezed the steering wheel tightly. _What the hell am I doing?! I’m a fucking criminal! And a murderer. God, it felt good to see that fucker die._ He hadn’t expected to have a positive reaction to Cooperson’s death. The slime dying felt good. It felt like justice. _I’m turning into Rimmy Tim but actually just a piece of shit._

Vagabond had definitely been prepared to fuck him five feet from a corpse. Jeremy had been prepared to get fucked five feet from a corpse. One that wasn’t even cold yet. One he _wanted_ to die, one he taunted about dying. He dropped his head to the steering wheel.

_I’m more like Ryan than I thought, aren’t I?_ Tapp was a shameless self-insert, but Ryan was the one Jeremy poured all his dark desires into. His desires to take justice into his own hands, to get his hands dirty and adrenaline pumping. To fuck in wildly inappropriate places. 

The passenger door opening startled him from his thoughts. He turned, expecting to see Vagabond, but saw a guard instead. _Well. What was that about hands getting dirty?_

“Hey, are you one of boss’ boys?” The guard grunted, “What’re you doin’?”

“He told me to go pick up condoms,” Jeremy answered, shocking himself, “I’m waiting for the other one now. He had to-“

“Alright, I don’t wanna know,” the guard interrupted, “Just close the door behind you.”

He closed the passenger door and started for the garage door. Jeremy fumbled for his phone to call Vagabond. 

“Dooley?” Vagabond muttered.

“There’s a guard headed inside,” Jeremy hissed, “I told him we were prostitutes. Take off the mask and come out to the garage. Hurry!”

He hung up before the man could protest and squeezed his eyes closed. _Come on, come on._ A few minutes later, Vagabond finally slid into the car. 

“You can go now,” He mumbled.

Jeremy opened his eyes and turned on the car.

“Hey, stop!” The guard from before shouted.

Jeremy floored it. He whipped into a sharp left turn as he zipped through the colossal garage. The door opened as the car approached and bullets began to ping against the car. Vagabond stiffened, but relaxed again as the bullets didn’t penetrate. Jeremy had picked the armored car for a reason. 

The tires squealed, skidding on the pavement as he whipped right onto the street. They flew through Los Santos so fast they practically _were_ hovering above the asphalt. Jeremy shook Cooperson’s men easily as he weaved through the streets. 

He slowed as they neared the port, glancing around as he crept through the shipping district as he liked to call it. He backed into a corner between the stacks of shipping containers and flipped off the car. He didn’t bother asking, just crawled into the back as Vagabond stepped out of the car. 

Jeremy yanked off his sneakers and jacket as Vagabond moved around to open the door at his feet. He’d left his own jacket in the front seat. He gripped Jeremy’s ankle and yanked him down, half out of the car before undoing his jeans and flipping him over. He lifted his hips to aid in getting his pants and underwear off. 

Vagabond was quiet as he dryly fingered him. Jeremy cried quietly into his arms from the burning. When he was finished, he pulled Jeremy’s jeans and underwear the rest of the way off and flipped him back over. He pushed him back up the seat and crawled in after him. He closed the door and locked it.

Jeremy trembled as he waited. Vagabond leaned over him and locked that door too. Then he leaned into the front and locked both of those doors as well before he finally looked down at Jeremy. Jeremy blushed and covered his face as Vagabond pushed his shirt up to look at his body. 

“Who do you belong to?” He muttered.

“Y-you,” Jeremy mumbled behind his hands.

“No one else gets to have you,” Vagabond spoke calm and firm, “If you let anyone touch you, I will have to punish you and them. Understood?”

“Y-Yes, sir,” Jeremy squeaked.

“Good boy,” Vagabond praised, voice warm, “You did so well tonight.”

His hands ran up Jeremy’s thighs and rubbed over his hips. 

“I’ll forgive your cheekiness,” he murmured, “If you beg me sweetly enough for my cock.”

His hands turned to claws, dragging down the backs of Jeremy’s thighs.

“Or you can take the beating you want so fucking bad,” he growled.

“P-please punish me, master!” Jeremy cried, reaching for him, “I-I wanna be punished!”

Vagabond flipped him again and Jeremy practically folded in half to obediently stick his ass in the air. He gripped the door, body trembling with anticipation. 

_ Smack! _

He cried out as his ass was spanked. Vagabond didn’t give him any breathing time between hits and Jeremy didn’t bother trying to count. He sobbed and moaned, his cock leaking with arousal. 

“Have you learned your lesson yet?” Vagabond questioned breathlessly.

He groped Jeremy’s sore ass causing a strangled yelp of pain.

“P-probably not,” Jeremy admitted through his tears.

Vagabond laughed and turned him over again. 

“Damn, you’re cute,” he teased.

Jeremy covered his blushing face and Vagabond shifted around. Jeremy peeked through his fingers to watch as he pulled his shirt over his head. He sat up suddenly, reaching for Vagabond’s bare skin. His fingers traced the distinctive scar on his ribs. _Made by a fire axe._ Jeremy’s hands moved over his torso. _Gunshot. Knife. Cattle prod. Burn._ Jeremy covered his mouth as his sobbing ramped up. 

“What is it?” Vagabond asked, brushing a hand through his hair, “Sorry, are the scars bothering you? I can put my shirt back on.”

Jeremy scrambled away from him, ripping the door open to vomit onto the pavement. Vagabond moved around behind him, putting his clothes back on as he retched until he couldn’t any more. When he was done, Vagabond gave him a tissue and a mint. He crawled into his lap, shoving his face into his shirt.

“I-it’s not you,” Jeremy sobbed, “Y-you are v-very attractive! An-and I love scars! Please d-don’t think it’s you!”

“Okay, it’s not me,” Vagabond murmured, putting his arms around him, “What is it? Tell me so I don’t trigger it again.”

Jeremy’s crying only got worse.

“I-I...I can’t,” he whimpered.

“Okay.”

_You can’t know that I did this to you. I made you suffer. Your pain is because I wanted to create the perfect psycho that would love me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suffer.


	8. Chapter 8

The armored car was stiflingly quiet as Ryan drove Dooley back to his apartment. The only sounds were of his quiet crying. Which he. Did. Not. _Stop._

Ryan hated it. Despised it. Loathed it. It was such a wretched, pathetic sound of utter misery. _Despair._ He was curled up in the passenger seat, shuddering with it. Head buried in his knees, arms around his legs. Like a child.

And Ryan could do nothing. He felt so fucking weak and helpless watching Dooley break down like that. He’d even triggered it. It was his fault for showing his scars. He’d seen Dooley’s and suddenly wanted their scars, their skin, to touch. He might have even taken off the mask if Dooley hadn’t suddenly freaked out.

That part was probably for the best. Ryan had been getting ahead of himself. In fairness to him, he was a psychopath that only ever cared this way about one other person. Who shared Dooley’s face and tight ass. He never claimed to be a healthy or good man. Nor would he describe what they’d started as healthy or good.

“V-vagabond?” Dooley sniffled as they got closer to his place.

Ryan nearly slammed the brakes to halt everything for him. 

“Yes?”

“D-did you tell G-Geoff?” Dooley mumbled.

“About?” Ryan prompted.

“M-me goin’ to Cooperson’s,” Dooley answered quietly.

“I said I’d find someone to take,” Ryan admitted, “I didn’t specify.”

“Are you gonna?” Dooley pressed.

Ryan glanced at him. His doe eyes were still leaking tears, but he was looking very intently at Ryan. Ryan couldn’t look at him for long, quickly turning back to the front.

“I don’t have to,” he grunted.

“Please,” Dooley murmured.

“As you wish,” Ryan answered.

They were quiet again until Ryan stopped at Dooley’s apartment. _Should I walk up with him?_ Dooley unraveled, unfastening his seatbelt.

“Vagabond, what do you wish for?” He asked quietly.

When Ryan turned, he was giving him a very intense, searching look. Like he might discover the answer to all of life’s questions if he learned this one. It was an important question to him, one he needed the truth in answer to. Ryan considered it. _What do I wish for?_

He suddenly felt sweaty, struggling to breathe. He wasn’t sure. It sounded like something he should know the answer to. Something easy. It should mean nothing to a psychopath to wish for anything. He was crazy, he should desire many things with little thought for it. 

He thought maybe before he had known what he wanted, that things had been easy. He’d wanted Tapp. He’d wanted to kill people. He’d wanted to go home as soon as he’d gotten here. But everything was fucked up now. Now he wanted Dooley, but it was more than that. 

With Tapp, he never really thought things wouldn’t work out. He always felt that, in the end, things would happen as they were meant to. He’d never been afraid of the outcome. _But tonight..._ Tonight Ryan had felt horrible, weak, and uncertain. Jealousy, worry, and confusion had made his head swim. He wanted Dooley- _Jeremy_ , but more than that, he wanted their ending to be the best one. He didn’t want to accept any ending. He wanted the _right_ one.

“I...wish for you to call me Ryan,” he finally mumbled.

He reached out and cupped Jeremy’s jaw, rubbing tears away with his thumb. Jeremy’s face looked torn in two, like Ryan’s answer had some how been wrong and right at the same time. Ryan watched helplessly as the battle raged in his eyes. _Conflicted._ He didn’t know how to take Ryan’s answer. _Ryan_ didn’t know how to take his answer.

“Jeremy, I-“ he started.

“I-I can’t do this to you,” Jeremy whispered, fresh tears pouring down his face, “I-I can’t just let you-I-I have to go.”

He pulled away and opened his door.

“W-wait! Jeremy!” Ryan cried out as he got out of the car, “Please, I-“

The door slammed shut, signaling the end of the conversation, the end of whatever it was they’d been doing. Ryan’s outstretched hand blurred and he flinched in surprise. _What’s wrong with my vision?_ He pulled off his mask as tears leaked out of his eyes. _Crying. I’m... I’m crying. Have I...done this before?_

~

Jeremy face planted into his bed as soon as he arrived in front of it. He was exhausted, his ass hurt, and he couldn’t. Stop. Fucking. Crying. Ryan had thought about his question for nearly three straight minutes, staring into his eyes as he tried to figure out the answer.

_I wish for you to call me Ryan._

He’d given Jeremy his real name. Of course, Jeremy already knew it, but that wasn’t the issue. The issue was that for Ryan, telling someone his first name was like confessing his love. He was, or at least thought he was, falling in love with Jeremy. 

Jeremy wanted it to be a good thing. He wanted this all to be a fucking fairytale where Ryan swept him off his feet and they lived happily ever after. But this wasn’t a fairytale. Ryan had been created for the purpose of getting Jeremy off and letting him fantasize that someone would actually love him.

Now that he was flesh, he was more than just what Jeremy had created. But he was latching onto Jeremy as though he still had this urge to be what Jeremy’s mind had created. Their connection wasn’t real, it was a fabrication. Ryan had free will now. Jeremy couldn’t ignore that. He couldn’t let Ryan give up a chance of freedom and happiness. He deserved to choose for himself, to understand that he _had_ a choice.

~

Jeremy looked like he hadn’t slept. Looked like he’d gotten into a fight instead of sleeping. He had a black eye. BrownMan, _Ray,_ looked up as he passed, frowning.

“Fucker,” He muttered, “That better not be...”

He puffed out an annoyed sigh, glancing at Ryan. He shook his head, slumping into the couch. He angrily tapped buttons on his DS for awhile before stopping. He snapped it closed and leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. He was waiting for Jeremy to pass again. 

He stood up abruptly as Jeremy did so. Jeremy smiled softly at him as he met him halfway. He pulled the flamboyant gun from his jeans and handed it over. BrownMan was temporarily distracted as he took it back. 

“This was at Cooperson’s,” he grunted.

Ryan stiffened. _Shit._

“Yeah, asshole had it in his basement,” Jeremy huffed, “Not even using such a pretty gun.”

_“You_ got into Cooperson’s place?” BrownMan asked, doubtfully.

“What? No!” Jeremy denied, “He died, dude. A friend at the force mentioned it and said they found this gun in the basement. Owed me a favor, so he conveniently assured the records of it were lost.”

_Damn, quick on his feet._ BrownMan snorted, spinning the gun around a bit. Jeremy watched him closely, looking impressed by his fancy tricks. Ryan bristled with anger. _Show off._ His hand twitched toward a knife. Whether he wanted to put a show on for Jeremy or just slice BrownMan’s throat, he wasn’t sure. 

Either way, Ryan was mad at himself. The echoing sound of Jeremy’s door closing bounced around in his skull. _Why should I care about what he does with BrownMan? He can take a flying leap off a bridge, the asshole._ Ryan was definitely, completely _not_ bitter about the rejection. 

“Anyway, he give that to you?” BrownMan spoke up again, anger in his voice.

He gestured at Jeremy’s shiner.

“He?” Jeremy prompted, frowning.

“The guy you were fucking,” BrownMan snorted, crossing his arms, “The one you ditched me for.”

“No! No!” Jeremy quickly assured him, waving his hands frantically, “No, he wouldn’t-“

He paused, clearing his throat. Ryan felt cold inside. _Does he think I would do that?_ His fist tightened where it rested on his leg. _Of course he thinks that. I’m a monster._

“I got into a fight,” he explained, “With a stranger...A-Anyway, I have a question, uh, about my book.”

“Oh, I finished it!” BrownMan answered, brightening up, “It’s really good. I’m excited for the next one.”

Jeremy blushed crimson, looking surprised and excited.

“Really?” He exclaimed, grabbing BrownMan’s hands, “You liked it? What’s your favorite part?”

Ryan’s heart squeezed at the eager look on his face, the way his body language opened up. _If I read his book, would he look at me like that?_

“Er, I-I liked the big showdown,” BrownMan mumbled, looking a bit flushed himself.

Probably because of how damn adorable Jeremy looked. Ryan’s jaw tightened. _Mine._

“L-listen, Jer, I was wondering...” BrownMan murmured.

Ryan felt a growl rise in his throat that he covered by clearing his throat. The two of them jumped, looking embarrassed. Jeremy’s eyes widened and he jerked his hands away from BrownMan’s.

“Um, a-anyway, I wanted to ask something else,” He muttered, “So...my contract, my files at the publisher, they went missing. Kinda like how the records of your gun went missing.”

Ryan did his best not to react to that, though he definitely perked up slightly. BrownMan looked confused.

“And?” He prompted him to continue.

“Do you...know anything about that?” Jeremy asked in careful tones.

Ryan nearly shouted out loud in frustration. _He thinks it’s him?! I did it! I saved you!_ Jealousy and anger swept over him like a tidal wave. 

“Uh, no?” BrownMan answered, “Did Geoff not do it?”

Jeremy sighed, shaking his head.

“I don’t know who could possibly have done it,” he murmured, “I have like ten fans. And only two of them knew about the contract.”

Ryan suddenly wanted to tell him it was him. He wanted those doe eyes to look up at him, wet with tears of happiness. He wanted him to be grateful. Wanted him to reward Ryan for being good to him. To kiss him on the mouth and sink to his knees. Do it right in front of BrownMan, so he could show him Jeremy was his. 

“I don’t know what to tell you,” BrownMan admitted, shrugging, “Wasn’t me. Maybe it was Gold or Mogar?”

_No!_ Ryan wanted to scream. Jeremy looked thoughtful and hesitant.

“Do they like my book?” He mumbled doubtfully.

“No, but they like _you,”_ BrownMan answered, “I don’t think they’ve read it, but Gold’s an eavesdropper, maybe he overheard you.”

Jeremy seemed to think this was a plausible theory considering Gold had in fact overheard him and Geoff talking about it. 

“Do they really...like me?” He murmured, twisting his hands nervously.

BrownMan ruffled his hair and Dooley stiffened, smacking his hand away. 

“D-Don’t do that!” He snapped shakily.

BrownMan put his hands up in surrender, backing off with a mumbled apology. Jeremy looked panicked a moment before quickly moving around the other man and practically flying out the door. 

“What the fuck was that about?” BrownMan muttered under his breath.

As much as he hated to admit it, Ryan shared the sentiment. Dooley seemed to have more trauma than Ryan had realized. _I shouldn’t have moved so fast. I’ve probably freaked him out._ He wasn’t sure how to fix it now though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me cry. No bonus points for figuring out which scene.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for bonus points.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: brief mention of anxiety, self-harm in the form of fighting, severe injuries, broken hand

Ryan tapped his fingers against his thigh as he waited for Geoff to get back. He stood to pace back and forth for a moment and sat again. His knee bounced nervously. _This is a dumb idea, but I’m not going to talk to anyone else._ The door of Geoff’s office opened and he almost jumped out of his skin. Ryan stood and turned to greet him.

“Vagabond?” Geoff grunted, “The hell’re you doin’ here?”

He walked around to sit at his desk. Ryan stayed standing a moment.

“I...have a question,” he mumbled.

“You wanna sit down?” Geoff offered.

Ryan dropped back to the chair, looking down at the floor.

“I was wondering,” he started, “If...if I person throws up during sex...what does it mean?”

“Why would you ask me that?” Geoff wondered out loud, “You know google exists, right?”

Ryan fidgeted.

“I...wanted your opinion,” he admitted quietly, “Because you know him.”

“BrownMan?” Geoff guessed.

Ryan looked up at him sharply. _I’m sorry, **what?!** Him?! Why the hell would it be him?!_

“I mean, you stare at him a lot,” Geoff offered, shrugging, “And he likes guys that can throw him around.”

_He does?! What?!_ Ryan just sat frozen, unable to process the information he never wanted to know. _And I stare at him because he’s the bane of my existence!_

“If it’s him, I’d say it’s because he eats garbage,” Geoff grumbled, “Boy doesn’t know how to eat properly, so he probably ate junk and then got sick when his stomach was jostled around.”

Ryan sat stunned, mouth open. _What. The. Fuck._

“Not him?” Geoff prompted, “Gold? He’s cock-hungry, so-“

“Dooley!” Ryan blurted desperately, “It was Dooley!”

_Please stop speculating!_

“Ah, then it was probably his anxiety,” Geoff answered, shrugging.

Ryan fidgeted. He’d been afraid of that. Anxiety and PTSD were the top answers when he’d searched for it. 

“Why didn’t you ask him?” Geoff questioned, “We really shouldn’t talk about him like this.”

Ryan squeezed his knees anxiously.

“After...h-he said something,” he mumbled, “He said “I can’t do this to you” and left. He doesn’t want to see me.”

“I see,” Geoff muttered, “He probably feels like he’s hurting you somehow.”

Ryan looked up, frowning. _Hurting me?_

“I would assume emotionally,” Geoff added, shrugging, “Considering you’re, ya know, _the fucking Vagabond.”_

Ryan squinted at him. _Doesn’t he know how strong Jeremy is?_

“So you must’ve been why he was so depressed yesterday,” Geoff reasoned, “Went and got in a fight. Called it penance.”

_Penance! That fucking idiot!_ Ryan stood abruptly.

“Thank you!” He practically shouted, “I have to go!”

“Whatever,” Geoff muttered tiredly as he exited, “Y’all are weird.”

Ryan ignored him, running down the hall to the front door. He opened his tracking app with only a tiny amount of guilt as he located Jeremy’s vehicle. He glanced around to make sure it was clear before switching his mask for his helmet and starting his bike. He sped toward downtown where the little blip was hovering outside a bar.

~

_To harken a warning is so often the first step in surviving in this cold, cruel world._

_And thus life imitates art,_ Jeremy thought wryly as he blocked another heavy swing at his face. Then again, he had come out here to punish himself. Of course he hadn’t expected quite so many people to decide they wanted in on the beating him down. Though he definitely should’ve. He was 5’4’’, obviously the thugs he’d fought on the force would recognize him. 

He side-kicked the guy going for his kidney again and whipped his foot back, spinning to slam his boot into the elbow of the guy behind him. An arm looped around his neck and he was yanked back. He stumbled, unbalanced and dropped into the hold, choking. They dragged him, stopping him from getting his feet back under him. 

He slammed his elbow into them and slipped out of the loosened hold, letting himself drop to his palms. He bent in a bridge and sent his feet up, slamming the toe of his boot into the sternum of the one who’d choked him. They wheezed as someone slammed their foot on Jeremy’s left hand. He shouted, falling into the one still reeling from the sternum hit. They ground their heel into his hand.

“No, no, no!” He hissed, “D-Don’t! Not my h-hand, please!”

He growled as they pressed harder. He gripped their ankle with his other hand, but was interrupted by a boot pressing against his upper back. He grunted as the sternum guy wiggled out from under him. He tugged at the ankle, huffing.

“P-please, please don’t!” He cried, “Y-you don’t know what y-you’re doing!”

He shrieked as they pulled back and stomped down, breaking his middle and ring finger. 

“Y-you have no idea what y-you’ve done,” he huffed around tears.

He curled his legs over his ass, basically bending in a circle and slammed his foot into the one pinning him by his upper back. They stumbled into the one stepping on his hand and he rolled to the side in time to trip the sternum guy. He huffed as the guy’s foot kicked his stomach as he tripped. 

He threw up his arm to stop a stomp coming toward his head, grunting as it landed on his forearm. Before they could all descend again, they were interrupted by a clap of thunder. Jeremy jolted, looking up at the sky. _It’s not storming._

“I suggest you run,” Vagabond’s voice called out.

Jeremy would’ve loved to have done that.

“Or I will kill you,” Vagabond warned.

_Did he figure it out?_ Jeremy was too tired to move any more. Boots shifted on the pavement, hurrying from the area. _Where even am I?_ Jeremy blinked, trying to clear his fuzzy vision. _Do I have a concussion?_ The Vagabond mask appeared above him. 

~

“N-no, please,” Jeremy whispered, “N-not you. I-I don’t deserve y-your help.”

Ryan grunted in frustration as he crouched down, eyes sweeping over him, cataloguing injuries.

“ _I_ decide who deserves my help, Dooley,” He growled.

“I-I made you all f-fucked up,” Jeremy rasped, “I-I never thought...I d-didn’t expect you t-to be real.”

Ryan frowned. _Does he have a concussion?_

“You’re not making any sense,” he grunted, “Come on.”

He put one arm under Jeremy’s shoulders and the other under his knees. Jeremy made a tiny noise of pain that twisted Ryan’s heart. He started to lift him, again reminding him the guy was made of 100% muscle.

“Christ, you’re heavy,” He huffed.

Jeremy made another tiny noise as his broken hand pawed weakly at Ryan’s shirt. Ryan looked down at his swollen face. Black eye, fat and split lip, blood on his teeth, bruised to all hell. Ryan’s blood boiled. _Only **I** can hurt him and I would never do this to him. He has to know that, right? _

“R-Ryan, tell me...” Jeremy murmured, “S-something n-no one else kn-knows about you. N-not a s-single other soul.”

Ryan’s face was burning while his heart pounded. _He...he did it. He called me Ryan._

“P-please, I-I need to...know f-for sure,” Jeremy mumbled thickly around tears.

Ryan’s chest squeezed. _He wants me to prove he’s special to me?_ He swallowed nervously. _Is he special enough to me for me to tell him such a secret?_ He carefully opened the passenger door of Jeremy’s car and set him inside. Jeremy’s broken hand stayed clenched, no doubt very painfully, in his shirt. His one visible eye leaked huge crocodile tears as he searched Ryan’s very soul. 

“I...I was 23 when I first killed someone,” Ryan whispered, shakily.

Jeremy’s eye widened and he reached weakly for his face. 

“I-I knew it...” he murmured, “B-But...Ry-Ryan, ‘m sorry.”

“Why?” Ryan muttered, “You haven’t done anything to me.”

Jeremy’s face twisted into an excruciating looking smile.

“R-read my book,” he suggested quietly.

He settled back against the seat and let Ryan buckle his seatbelt as his eye closed and he fell asleep. Ryan closed the passenger door with a sigh. _Jeremy, whatever it was, whatever you think you’ve done, I don’t give a fuck._ He blinked away the blurriness in his vision as he got in the car. _The only thing that matters to me now is being beside you for your next fight._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup? You thought Jeremy wasn’t going to get fucked up in this fic? Hahahahahahaha
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant to become one of my minions of darkness


	10. Chapter 10

Jeremy woke up in a hospital. He blinked up at the ceiling, dazedly getting his bearings. His brain sluggishly tried to recall why it felt like it’d turned to hamburger. _Right._ Ryan had saved him from dying in a bar parking lot. It was exactly the opposite of what he wanted to happen. He was trying to pay for his sins, not become further in debt.

He tried to remember what all he’d said, but he went fuzzy at a certain point in the middle of the fighting. Hopefully it wasn’t anything too bad. Though given his luck, he’d guess it was pretty alarming. He tried not to worry too much about it. But of course he did. _A lot._

He sat up, looking around for the nurse calling button. He had to pee. He jumped in surprise to find Ryan was sleeping in the chair next to his bed. He looked exhausted, even though he was completely asleep. Jeremy noted he’d cuffed himself to the hospital bed with a twinge of guilt. 

There were certain things about Ryan that he’d made to make him relate to Jeremy. Jeremy had bad nightmares and insomnia, so he gave Ryan sleep problems. He was disgusted by corruption because Jeremy wanted to see justice served. He’d given him anxiety because _he_ had anxiety. He wanted someone to understand, but now that Ryan was real, he was suffering because of it.

Jeremy tapped his hand, trying to wake him up. It took him a moment to lean over and shake him properly. Everything hurt. Ryan stirred from his sleep with a grumble of annoyance under his breath. He brought his not-cuffed hand to his eyes, only to be blocked by the mask.

“Hey,” Jeremy rasped, “I’m about the call the nurses. You might want to unhook yourself.”

Ryan was quiet as he did so and while the nurses bustled about. Jeremy was surprised he didn’t leave. This really didn’t seem like his sort of scene. Oddly the nurses made no reaction to him. _Where the hell am I?_ Jeremy wondered, glancing around.

After everything calmed down again, they sat in awkward silence. Jeremy couldn’t remember if he said anything offensive. He couldn’t remember much past getting his head smacked against a curb. He winced down at his broken fingers. _Well, someone’s going to die. Geoff certainly won’t be happy about it._

“They’re already dead,” Ryan spoke up, reading his mind, “You’ve been out a long time now.”

Jeremy rubbed his thumb over the cast. 

“Have you...been here the whole time?” He mumbled.

“I go home to shower and eat,” Ryan answered.

They fell into awkward silence once more. Jeremy fidgeted with his blanket for awhile before peeking over at Ryan whose blue eyes were staring right at him. He shuddered, struggling to maintain eye contact. _Can it really be him? How could it possibly be him? I’m a fucking crazy person._

“Do you remember what you told me?” Ryan asked quietly.

_That doesn’t sound good._

“I don’t remember anything past getting curb-stomped,” Jeremy answered, twisting his hands anxiously, “W-was it bad?”

“You told me to read your book,” Ryan grunted, reaching in his jacket.

He pulled out a copy of Jeremy’s book and set it by Jeremy’s knee. Jeremy swallowed nervously. 

“I read it three times,” Ryan muttered, “While you were sleeping.”

Jeremy felt warmth burst in his chest and he grabbed Ryan’s hand.

“Did you like it?!” He exclaimed excitedly, “You must’ve! You read it three times!”

Ryan looked startled.

“I...liked it,” he admitted carefully.

“What was your favorite part?” Jeremy pressed, squeezing his hand.

Ryan’s eyes darted away and he cleared his throat.

“I...I liked when Tapp and...Davis danced,” he murmured, “At the Christmas party.”

Jeremy squeezed his hand tighter, grinning widely. Ryan jumped, looking back around at him.

“No one’s said that before!” Jeremy informed him brightly, “I worked really hard on that scene! I wanted it to be special.”

Ryan’s eyes softened and he rubbed the back of his neck, looking away again.

“It was,” he whispered, “It was very special.”

Jeremy suddenly remembered why it was a bad idea for Ryan to read his book. He pulled his hands away, fidgeting again.

“Um, so...did you figure it out?” He mumbled, “I-I mean where you came from.”

~

Ryan frowned. _Does he know that I know that he brought me here?_

“Do _you_ know where I’m from?” He countered.

“Well...yeah,” Jeremy grunted, tapping the book, “You’re from the book. From my imagination.”

_From his...?_ Ryan just stared at him at moment.

“Are you actually an idiot?” He finally grumbled, “That’s ridiculous.” 

Jeremy rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

“Alright, how do I know then?” He demanded, “How was I able to write about you?”

“You obviously saw into my world,” Ryan huffed, “And followed around your alternate self.”

“Alternate realities, really?” Jeremy grunted, _“That’s_ what you’ve got?”

Ryan blushed. _It sounds stupid when he says it like that..._

“It makes more sense than you wrote me into existence!” He argued.

“Alright, fine,” Jeremy conceded, putting his hands up, “But you just think that because you’ve only read the book. I can tell you things no one else could know. Things I wouldn’t know just by following Tapp around.”

Ryan snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Alright, go on then, _creator,”_ he grumbled, crossing his arms.

“Your name is James Ryan Haywood,” Jeremy started.

Ryan gave him a sharp look. _Okay... How does he know that?_

“Your favorite drink is Diet Coke,” Jeremy continued, “That scar on your ribs was made by a fire axe. You’re terrified of getting lost.”

_All easily explained by events that happened after I arrived._

“You could’ve figured that out,” Ryan pointed out, “After I got here.”

“You’re Rodger Davis as well,” Jeremy went on, “And you’re in love with your partner Detective Tapp.”

“So you saw me with him and found out!” Ryan countered, “That doesn’t prove anything!”

Jeremy let out a frustrated noise.

“You were 23 when you first killed someone,” He tried, “I would’ve been 12, how could I have seen that?”

Ryan scowled.

“I told you that last night,” he grunted, “You _do_ remember what I said.”

“What? No!” Jeremy huffed, “You told me? Why did you tell me?”

“Because you asked me to tell you something no one else knew,” Ryan muttered, looking away, embarrassed again.

“So I knew for 100% certainty that you were my character!” Jeremy exclaimed.

He covered his face with his hands. _He had to be in pain from the beat down, but was ignoring it in favor of proving his point._ He suddenly jerked his head up.

“Wait, that’s it!” He shouted, “Give me your phone! Unless you have mine?”

Ryan pulled Jeremy’s phone from his jacket and handed it over. He quickly typed something in before flipping the phone around for Ryan to see. It was open to a Wikipedia article about the “Axeman of New Orleans”. Ryan raised his eyebrow.

“Look, this guy,” Jeremy muttered, “Active in the early 1900’s. A serial killer who killed people with an axe. He was never caught. But you know what he _was?_ An inspiration for your first kill. The axe murderer who was getting away with his crimes because he wasn’t killing anyone affluential enough to matter to the police. You lost your brother, Joseph, and you couldn’t just sit idly by while he continued killing, so you confronted him. Look, he even has the same victim count, 6.”

Ryan went quiet as his eyes scanned over the Wikipedia page. _That is...interesting. He would’ve had to research the case in great length to figure it all out. Finding out about Joesph as well...But-_

“That just means he exists in both worlds,” He pointed out, “And you’re one hell of a detective or whatever lets you see my world shows you more than what others see.”

Jeremy dropped his head into his hands once again. He looked quite defeated. Ryan frowned. _He seems really convinced by this. Or else he just really wants me to believe it._ Jeremy lowered his hands slowly, looking at him hesitantly.

“Ryan...” He murmured, “What is Detective Tapp’s first name?”

Ryan opened his mouth as though he had the answer, but froze. He didn’t have the answer. He should have the answer. Should be one of the easiest questions for him to answer. He was in love with him for fuck’s sake. _Tapp. Tapp. Tapp._

“Who was the person you lost your virginity to?” Jeremy asked next.

Ryan again came up short. He wasn’t a virgin, but he couldn’t remember their name. Why couldn’t he remember their name? 

“Where did you go to school?”

School. He went to school, he must’ve. 

“What was your best time in GoldenEye007?”

His favorite game. He must’ve played it a million times, but he couldn’t come up with his record time.

“When did you cry the hardest?”

Ryan knew this one. Knew the first and only time he’d cried. It was after he’d gotten here. 

“Ryan...do you understand?” Jeremy whispered, “I...made you.”

Ryan looked down at his hands. 

“I’m...not real,” he breathed.

Jeremy grabbed his hands, startling him into looking up. His doe eyes were filled with tears.

“You _are_ real!” He insisted, “Y-you may have started as ink, but you’re made of blood now!”

Ryan’s chest squeezed. 

“I was in love with Tapp,” he realized, “You...you created me to love you.”

Jeremy’s head dropped.

“Y-Yes, I did,” he admitted thickly, “I-I made you. All of your s-suffering and everything you are is because I-I wanted to create the perfect match for me.”

_And am I? Am I everything you wanted?_

“Ryan, I...” Jeremy sobbed, “Y-you should know, you can do an-anything you want!”

He looked up, face wet as he squeezed Ryan’s hands tightly. The half-healed injuries were cast like a shadow across his face. His big brown eyes were filled with pleading and desperation. 

“Y-You don’t have to stay here as the Vagabond!” He cried, “Y-You should be whatever you want, go wherever! Y-you...you probably think you’re falling in love with me! B-but it’s just because I-I made you to!”

~

Ryan stood up abruptly, ripping his hands away. Jeremy slumped forward, head and hands dropping limply.

“I...I can’t believe you,” Ryan spoke coldly, “How dare you?”

Jeremy felt despair sink deeply into his bones as Ryan stormed from the room. _What did I expect? That he would want to stay?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah....


	11. Chapter 11

Jeremy was curled up on the gray couch. He was pulled so tightly into a ball that he only took up one of the three cushions. His hair was sticking out every whichaway, his beard untrimmed, and his clothes too large for him. He almost looked homeless. The three things that strongly indicated this wasn’t the case were the ankle monitor, the cast still on his hand, and the fact he obviously showered regularly. 

Ryan clicked the final piece of the gun back into place. He set it down and picked up the next. At least the bruises were nearly gone. Not that he gave a fuck about the egotistical little shitbag. He pointed the gun at Jeremy’s head. 

Truthfully he should kill him. Jeremy was the only one preventing him from becoming a complete ghost. Aside from him, Ryan didn’t exist. He had stepped out the pages of a book. He had no background, no family, no _being in love._

_Y-you...you probably think you’re falling in love with me! B-but it’s just because I-I made you to!_

Ryan disassembled the gun and began to clean it. _Get the hell over yourself, you little twerp. Do you really think you could force me to love you?_ Fictional character or not, Ryan was not owned by anyone, he could not be forced into anything he didn’t want, and he certainly didn’t have to take shit from anyone. So Jeremy could go straight to hell. 

The man in question stirred as Ryan clicked the gun back together and set it down. At first Ryan thought he was just waking up. Then he started whimpering. The sound stabbed through Ryan like his name was Aerith. He sounded so vulnerable and he was curled up like a child, just like when Ryan asked him to call him by his name. 

“No,” Jeremy whimpered, “Please.”

Ryan looked up from where he wasn’t looking at the gun parts. Jeremy was curled so tightly he looked like he might break his spine. Ryan should really leave before talking in his sleep revealed something Jeremy didn’t want him to know. _Well, who gives a fuck? He knows everything about me already, why shouldn’t I know about him?_

Besides, he was waiting for Geoff and Mogar. He needed to be around for the job they had. He couldn’t wait to get out and do something to take his mind off all the bullshit. He glanced at Jeremy’s ankle monitor. 

It really didn’t seem fair that Geoff had basically locked him up. Though it was for a good reason. Jeremy had been near catatonic when he first left the hospital a week ago. He’d spent the first two days staring blankly at the wall. Then he’d left and got into another fight, so Geoff put the monitor on him.

He’d mostly nearly no reaction to anyone’s presence. He did greet them and had even said hello to Ryan the day before, but he seemed unwilling or unable to hold a conversation. Ryan didn’t want to admit it, but he felt pretty guilty about it. The problem was he was too damn stubborn to apologize for overreacting. 

He was struggling to stay angry at him. He knew Jeremy just felt guilty, but it frustrated him that the man treated him like a child. As if he couldn’t understand his choices. As if he was some naive kid.

Yes, technically he wasn’t even a year old, but he had the memories of many years as though he _was_ forty. Perhaps his life wasn’t real to Jeremy, but it was to him. All these things Jeremy had thrown in a pot to make Ryan, they were real to him. And hadn’t Jeremy said he was real now?

“Please.”

Ryan couldn’t take it any more. He hated it, he hated it so much. He couldn’t stand how helpless and weak he felt when Jeremy was in distress. He didn’t care any more that he was supposed to be mad. He needed to _do_ something. 

He dropped the parts on the table and walked over to the couch, slipping his gloves back on. He gripped Jeremy’s shoulder, shaking him awake. Jeremy blinked groggily at him.

“Ryan?” He mumbled.

“Yes, come on,” Ryan grunted, “We’re going for a ride.”

He grabbed the ankle monitor and deactivated it, pulling it off and dropping it before scooping Jeremy into his arms like a toddler. Jeremy held onto him around his shoulders and put his legs around him like it was planned instead of completely spontaneous. 

~

Ryan set Jeremy down carefully before sitting beside him. Jeremy blinked blearily, clearly still fairly out of it. He looked around with mild interest then brought his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them. Ryan sighed heavily, looking forward at the large, busted lamp.

“This lighthouse exists in Los Angeles,” he muttered, “Though it works there. You know that, don’t you? You created it. I guess you probably know I wanted to take Tapp here too.”

He leaned forward, propping his forearms on his thighs. He fidgeted, staring at his hands for a quiet moment.

“When I got here, this was the first place I wanted to find,” he admitted quietly, “There’s something poetic about it, I guess. The last light in the dark for me, the last connection I have to the world I knew, snuffed out and broken down. Just like everything in this godforsaken city. Including you.”

His head dropped. 

“Tapp always said I was the reason he stayed on the force,” he murmured, “But you didn’t have that, someone that cared about and supported you. You never did. That’s why you created me in the first place, isn’t it? You thought only a fictional psychopath could love you.”

He paused, pulling the mask off.

“But then I became real,” he continued, “And I bet you thought there was no way a _real_ person with flesh and blood could love you. You convinced yourself that I just didn’t know any better, that your writing compelled me to be with you.”

He sighed, squeezing his stinging eyes closed.

“But there’s things about you that I like that never translated to Tapp,” he confessed, “Jeremy, you’re beautiful and smart and crazy in all the best ways and I’d have to be an absolute moron not to fall in love with you. Just because I’m the first person not blind to you, doesn’t mean I’m being forced to love you. Nothing could force me to love someone.”

He turned to look at him, letting the hot tears burn down his face. Jeremy had unraveled, his face wet with his own tears.

“I love you because you’re amazing,” Ryan whispered, “Not because I’m being made to.”

~

Jeremy launched into Ryan, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his shoulder. Ryan pulled him onto his lap, holding him closely as he sobbed like a pathetic child. Ryan buried his face into his shoulder in return, his hands rubbing circles on Jeremy’s back. 

“I-I love you too!” Jeremy wailed, muffled by Ryan’s jacket.

Ryan puffed out a relieved sigh, relaxing slightly.

“Fucking, thank _Christ,”_ he hissed, “You weren’t saying it for a second and I got crazy worried.”

Jeremy snorted out a laugh around his tears.

“You’re an absolute dork,” he teased.

“Hmph, well, _you_ love me, so what does that say about you?” Ryan grumbled.

Jeremy leaned back.

“Says I have good taste in men,” he answered, grinning.

Ryan blushed, eyes darting away.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” he huffed. 

“Ryan, you’re a narcissist,” Jeremy scoffed, “Flattery will get me _everywhere.”_

Ryan clicked his tongue in disapproval, but didn’t say anything else. Instead he chose to take the back of Jeremy’s neck and kiss him quite soundly. 

“Ryan...” he mumbled when they parted, “The thing about this place...You said you wanted to bring Tapp here?”

“Yeah, kind of dumb, I guess,” Ryan muttered, “But I thought of him as the last light in LA.”

Jeremy paused. _The last light of LA._

“You’re doing that thing again,” Ryan informed him.

“Huh?” Jeremy grunted, distracted.

“You mouth a line you really like,” Ryan explained.

“I do?” Jeremy asked, eyebrows going up.

“Yes, you get this adorable look of concentration on your face,” Ryan confirmed, “Like you’re trying to commit it to memory.”

Jeremy blushed, looking away.

“I-it’s just...I didn’t know that,” he admitted, “I actually barely recall this place at all. It’s interesting...I think I deemed it your quiet place once when I visited here. That was so long ago...I guess you developed outside what I created. You went even further than I did. And I went pretty far. I gave you a lot of details.”

“Like how I had a tongue piercing?” Ryan offered.

Jeremy’s eyes went wide.

“That’s canon?!” He demanded.

Ryan stuck out his tongue. Jeremy slapped his hands on Ryan’s cheeks.

“Oh my god!” He shouted, “That was an early concept! I completely forgot about it!”

“Mus be wa eh cloh,” Ryan mumbled around his stuck out tongue.

“Whoa...” Jeremy breathed, “My mind is like full blown right now.”

He let go of Ryan’s face, feeling dizzy. His brain was struggling to keep up processing this new information.

“Wait, that means it’s _your_ damn fault I got that dumbass tattoo!” Ryan exclaimed, grabbing his face the same way, “You little shit! Why would you do that?!”

Jeremy blushed, looking away.

“T-tattoos are hot,” he mumbled.

“It’s totally out of character for me!” Ryan grunted, moving Jeremy’s head back and forth, “And I wondered why the hell I would get it, what the hell I was thinking! You little pervert!”

Jeremy’s whole body blushed and he glanced downward.

“C-can I see it?” He requested sheepishly.

“No, you can’t see it, you horny bastard!” Ryan huffed, squishing his face.

“Bu’ I ma’e i’!” Jeremy grumbled around his squished face.

“Would you show your mom your dick just because she made it?!” Ryan grunted, scowling at him.

_Well, it certainly sounded stupid when he said it like that._ Jeremy pouted anyway.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Ryan muttered, letting go of him.

Jeremy pawed at his shirt, eyes wide and innocent.

“Ryyyan!” He whined, “Pleeeasssseee?”

Ryan’s eyes narrowed at him.

“You intentionally made me weak to the begging doe eyes,” He accused.

“Who me? No way!” Jeremy denied, grinning widely at him, “Does this look like the face of an evil mastermind?”

“Definitely.”

“Hey!” Jeremy huffed.

Ryan grinned back at him, blue eyes filled with sparkling mischief and fondness. Jeremy would’ve swooned if he wasn’t such a manly man. So his chest just exploded with warmth instead.


	12. Chapter 12

“Hey, you wanna desecrate your sacred place?” Jeremy suggest, bouncing on his lap.

“You just had a concussion,” Ryan pointed out, “And this place isn’t sacred.”

Jeremy pouted, then got distracted looking out the window. His mouth pulled back and his eyes went wide.

“Yikes.”

Ryan could hear chopper blades. He cleared his throat, shifting a bit. _Oops._

“I may have forgotten to tell Geoff I kidnapped you,” he muttered.

Jeremy laughed, loud and long and totally at ease. Ryan’s heart stuttered in his chest. _Fuck._ Jeremy looked down at a phone and Ryan realized with a jolt it was actually _his_ phone. He tapped away for a moment while Ryan just stared at him. _He took it without me noticing and figured out my password._

Jeremy looked back up, slipping Ryan’s phone back where it belonged. Then he pressed his face into Ryan’s chest, snuggling in under his jacket. Ryan found a smile spreading on his face as he wrapped his arms around him. _**I** should be the insecure one. _

“So warm,” Jeremy groaned, “I didn’t realize I missed cuddling.”

“Mm, I didn’t realize I craved it,” Ryan hummed, “This is quite nice.”

They were silent a moment, listening to the sound of chopper blades fading away.

“Ryan...do you think you’ll disappear?” Jeremy asked quietly.

Ryan rested his cheek on Jeremy head. _Hm._ He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten there in the first place. It seemed involuntary, neither of them had actively participated in whatever caused it. So in theory, it could happen in reverse without their input.

“I’m not sure,” Ryan murmured, “But...I think it’s possible.”

Jeremy’s fists tightened in his shirt.

“I don’t want you to go,” He whispered.

He was shaking a bit. Ryan felt a swell of panic. _He’s not going to freak out, is he?_

“I don’t want to go either,” Ryan grunted, “But let’s hold off on the worry for now, okay?“

“Easier said than done,” Jeremy huffed, “I’m all fucked up in the head.”

“I would imagine so,” Ryan snorted, “If you created m-“

Ryan abruptly stopped talking. _Created me to be your perfect match._

~

Jeremy pulled back, frowning. Ryan had gone silent suddenly.

“Wha- _EEP!”_

Jeremy interrupted himself with a very manly squeal as Ryan suddenly whirled him around, shoving him down on the bench. He yanked his own belt open and Jeremy put up his hands, wrists together as he pulled it from his jeans. Ryan looped it around his wrists and pulled it tight. Jeremy groaned, face flushing. 

“If I was made to fit you,” Ryan muttered, yanking Jeremy’s sweats off, “That means you’re my perfect little bitch, aren’t you?”

Jeremy moaned as Ryan shoved up his hoodie and shirt.

“Y-Yes, sir,” Jeremy huffed.

Ryan patted his jacket. _Looking for the tiny bottle of lube he always kept on him._

“L-left ch-chest pocket,” Jeremy muttered.

Ryan pulled the bottle of lube from his left chest pocket and pushed Jeremy’s legs up. Jeremy let out a tiny sigh of a moan as Ryan pushed a finger inside him. 

“Didn’t know about the lighthouse,” Ryan grunted, “But you know where I keep my lube. What a horny little bitch.”

Jeremy groaned, covering his burning face with his tied hands. 

“I-I’ve been l-lonely,” He whined.

“I...m-me too,” Ryan murmured.

Jeremy peeked through his fingers at Ryan whose face was pink. He was looking between where he was fingering Jeremy who was biting his lip. _Fuck, he’s like...cute sometimes._ Ryan looked up at him, catching him staring. He grinned at him.

“Like what you see?” He teased.

“No!” Jeremy huffed.

“Liar,” Ryan chided, “Come on, tell me how you made me to be perfect.”

“N-not perfect!” Jeremy grumbled.

Ryan’s eyes narrowed and his grin turned evil. He jerked his hand sharp and rough into Jeremy. Jeremy cried out, tears leaking from his eyes. Ryan pushed, hard. Jeremy sobbed and his legs trembled. 

Ryan’s knuckles pressed against him, trying to shove their way into him. Jeremy’s knees spread where they were up by his chest. He huffed and cried. He wanted to take it all. Wanted to hurt. A shudder ripped through his body and he moaned.

“F-fuck, what a whore,” Ryan groaned, “Your ass doesn’t want to let me in, but you’re fucking shaking with how bad you want me to force it.”

He jabbed harshly and Jeremy whined miserably through his clenched teeth. His body rocked against Ryan, trying to force his hand in. 

“P-please!” He gasped, “Please!”

“Th-this is a t-terrible place to fist you,” Ryan muttered breathlessly, “T-travel lube isn’t enough.”

Jeremy sobbed, reaching with his tied hands. Ryan’s free hand gripped one of his and Jeremy held tightly with both hands.

“R-Ry, p-please, I-I want you,” He cried.

~

Ryan thought he might combust. He pulled his shaking hand out of Jeremy’s ass to scramble to get his jeans open. It’d be easier with the dry hand, but no way in hell was he going to pull his hand away from where Jeremy was gripping it so desperately. As Ryan shuffled on his knees, pushing up against the back of his thighs, one of Jeremy’s legs rested on Ryan’s shoulder while the other was around his waist. 

_Flexible._ Ryan shuddered as he pushed into him, pressing his leg down as he leaned over him. _So flexible. I could bend him right in half._ To confirm this, he pressed Jeremy’s knee into his chest. Fuck. He eased back, not looking to rip him up the middle of his pelvis. Not yet anyway. He wanted to finish first. 

Jeremy let out a whiny moan and Ryan glanced up at his face. _Fuck, he’s probably not in good enough condition for this._ He pulled back and pushed forward, watching Jeremy’s face for any severe pain. He seemed alright, huffing out little breathy moans and rocking back into Ryan. His eyes opened suddenly, dazedly looking at Ryan staring at him. Ryan jolted as they locked eyes. 

Jeremy pulled his hand up to his throat and dropped his leg to wrap them both around Ryan’s waist. Ryan shuddered, squeezing his throat lightly. Jeremy’s eyelashes fluttered and he moaned. Ryan felt like he was the one who couldn’t breathe. He rolled his hips slowly as he kept his eyes on Jeremy’s. Jeremy’s lips parted as Ryan fucked him, keeping him in place by his hold on his throat. 

So soft and warm. Was he like this before? He felt much more welcoming than before. His body opening up to Ryan’s slow movements. _Because he knows it’s me. Because he trusts me totally and completely. Because I’m everything he wants. Everything he needs._ Ryan moaned, a pulse running through his body. He needed more of their skin to touch.

He leaned back to drop his jacket and get his shirt over his head. Jeremy lifted to let him shove his hoodie and shirt up to his tied hands that he lifted above his head without Ryan saying to. Ryan leaned over him, laying his body against him. 

He moaned as their skin pressed together. He could feel Jeremy’s scars as he rolled against him. He was shaking, but so was Jeremy. Ryan panted, struggling to get enough air in his lungs. _Hot. Sweaty. Real._ It felt real. He ripped off his gloves to run his hands up Jeremy’s sides, over his chest and shoulders as he pressed his lips to Jeremy’s neck. 

“Jeremy,” he breathed, between mouthing at his neck, “You’re so warm. So real.”

His hands ran up Jeremy’s arms to his wrist where he yanked off the belt and Jeremy’s clothes. He ran his hands over Jeremy’s, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. Jeremy let out a tiny moan into his ear as he squeezed back.

“So are you, Ryan,” he whispered.

Ryan groaned, shuddering as his hips moved with more purpose. 

“J-Jeremy,” he groaned, “Jeremy, am-am I everything you wanted?”

“Y-Yes!” Jeremy cried, “Y-You’re perfect!”

Ryan shouted, clenching his teeth as he came. He lifted slightly to put his hand between them. He kissed and mouthed at Jeremy’s neck as he jerked him off.

“Come on, be a good boy and come for me,” he muttered.

Jeremy huffed, squeezing his hand tighter and tighter until he came, groaning Ryan’s name and going limp. He shuddered and Ryan quickly jumped into action, cleaning him up and getting his clothes back on him. Once they were clean and covered, Ryan held him close. They both looked at the broken lamp in the lighthouse and thought the same thing of the other.

_The last light of my life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Then everyone lived happily ever after the end. Hahahahahaha


	13. Chapter 13

Ryan moaned as he woke up to a hot, wet tongue on his cock. _Mm. Good boy._ He ran his fingers through Jeremy’s hair as his mouth closed around him. He moved to put his other hand on his head, only to yank uselessly at the handcuffs.

Jeremy sucked hard, pulling his dick further into his mouth. Ryan moaned, hips pushing up as Jeremy’s cheeks and tongue squeezed around him. Jeremy’s hand rubbed over his bare thighs, gently guiding his legs further apart. 

Jeremy’s fingers brushed up his inner thighs and he puffed out a sigh, head tipping back. A shudder ran through him as Jeremy’s fingers traced patterns over his skin. He didn’t realize how sensitive he was there. Though he vaguely recalled squeezing his thighs together when he jerked off now that he thought about it. Running his hand up his leg before took ahold of his dick. Rubbing his fingers over the tattoo. 

His eyes flew open. The tattoo. Jeremy froze, hand and eyes on said tattoo. He looked up at Ryan, puffing out a nervous laugh around his dick. Ryan’s hand turned into a fist on his hair and he yanked him off. 

“R-Ry!” He whimpered as he pulled him up, “N-no, please! I-I’ll be good!”

“Liar,” Ryan hissed as he tossed Jeremy over his lap.

He sat up and got the keys to the cuffs while Jeremy cried pathetically. He got something else out of the nightstand as he tossed the cuffs back in. Jeremy squeaked, shifting away from him. Ryan gripped his hair, shoving his face in the mattress. Jeremy put his hands down, trying to cover his ass. 

“Move your hands,” Ryan growled, “You’re only making it worse for yourself.”

Jeremy cried as he moved his hands, gripping the sheets. Ryan bit his lip. 

“Fuck, you look good like this,” he huffed, “Trembling in fear. Fuck it turns me on when you’re crying like a baby.”

Jeremy moaned, ass pushing out. 

_ Smack! _

Jeremy jolted as the paddle hit his presenting ass. His thighs spread and he moaned.

_ Smack! _

“M-master, please!” He cried, “I-I’m sorry!”

“No, you’re not,” Ryan sneered, “But you will be.”

Jeremy choked on his next moan. 

_Smack! Smack! Smack!_

Jeremy whimpered out tiny, pained moans as Ryan beat him. By the time Ryan couldn’t take it any more, Jeremy was a sobbing mess, begging him to fuck his slutty, undeserving ass. _God, he’s beautiful._ Ryan pulled him up to straddle his lap and snatched his lube from the drawer. He shuddered when Ryan pushed a lubed finger into him, gripping his shoulders tightly. He was quiet as Ryan added a second finger fairly quickly.

“You alright?” Ryan questioned breathlessly.

“Y-Yes,” Jeremy mumbled.

Ryan frowned, pausing. He almost always called him sir or master when they fucked. 

“Jeremy?” He prompted, “You awake?”

Jeremy opened his eyes, looking hesitant even though he was riding Ryan’s hand, hips rolling. 

“A-are you really mad?” He murmured, “A-about the t-tattoo?”

Ryan’s frown deepened.

“No, if I was really mad, I wouldn’t be fucking you right now,” he grunted.

“A-are you upset?” Jeremy tried instead, “I-is it because you’re insecure? ‘C-cause I think it’s g-great on you! I d-don’t-unh...”

He trailed off as he bounced on Ryan’s fingers. Ryan added a third to try to hide the fact he was blushing furiously. He glanced between Jeremy’s legs to where he could see the corner of the tattoo. _That’s right, he made it. Of course he likes it._

“Please fuck me now,” Jeremy huffed.

Ryan moved his hand and rubbed lube over his cock before guiding Jeremy down onto it. Jeremy moaned as he slid down flush with his pelvis. He moved on his own, lifting and lowering like the eager little slut he always was. Ryan’s head dropped back, eyes squeezing closed. 

“Why?” He grunted.

“Huh?”

“Why that quote?” Ryan clarified.

“Oh, ‘cause th-that’s your l-last words,” Jeremy muttered.

Ryan and Jeremy stiffened, freezing completely as the words fell out of Jeremy’s mouth. Ryan hesitated to open his eyes. When he finally did, Jeremy was looking away, face pale. 

“I...I die first,” Ryan whispered.

Jeremy’s hands twisted together and he stared down at Ryan’s chest.

“How?” Ryan asked quietly.

Jeremy crossed his arms over his chest, squeezing his biceps.

“After...Tapp reveals himself as Rimmy Tim,” He murmured, “You hesitate and he shoots you...when he pulls off the mask, you say the words and...die in his arms...C-Can I get off now?”

Ryan let go of his hips and Jeremy pulled away, reaching for the covers. He covered them up and curled into his defense position. Ryan pushed the covers off his leg to look at the tattoo. Jeremy hesitantly touched his arm.

“Ryan?” He spoke quietly, “Are you... alright?”

Ryan closed his eyes, dropping his head back and grinding his palm against his forehead.

“I...guess so,” he muttered, “I just...I didn’t really expect that. I keep forgetting...Why would you tattoo my last words on me before I say them?”

“Honestly, it was going to be a recurring quote,” Jeremy admitted, “You were going to say it many times, but...it just never really worked, I guess?”

“And the rest?” Ryan grunted.

Jeremy was quiet a long moment.

“Roses are hot,” he finally murmured under his breath.

Ryan laughed as he dragged his hand down his face.

“Oh my god,” he snorted, “That’s a terrible reason.”

“Well, I didn’t know you’d be real!” Jeremy protested, crossing his arms, “If I knew, I would’ve done a lot of things differently!”

“Oh, yeah?” He prompted, “Would you make my dick bigger?”

Jeremy shuddered, quickly shaking his head.

“No, I’d make it smaller!” He insisted, “That thing is a fucking monster.”

Said monster perked up. Jeremy gave him a flat, exasperated look. 

“You seem to like it,” Ryan teased, wrapping his arms around him, “You certainly beg for it a lot.”

He pulled him close and Jeremy buried his red face in his chest.

“I’d have made you less of an asshole too,” He grumbled.

Ryan chuckled, running his hand through Jeremy’s sweaty hair. He looked back down at the tattoo. Five months he’d been trying to wrap his head around the truth and struggling with the possibility that he could just completely disappear one day. Now he had _this_ to add to his myriad of existential terrors. In Jeremy’s book, he had a sealed fate. What did that mean for his current reality? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to existential terror. Follow me @1stworldmutant for more of that.


	14. Chapter 14

“Happy Birthday!” Jeremy called out.

He yanked on the popper in his hands, but nothing happened. He frowned down at it. 

“What the hell?” He grunted.

He tugged again and it popped directly at him. Confetti and streamers exploded on his face like the least pleasant bukkake he’d ever experienced.

“Fuck!”

Ryan snorted, bursting into laughter as Jeremy brushed confetti off himself.

“You know, I’m glad I didn’t take the fireworks from Gold now,” he huffed.

“You’re a fucking idiot!” Ryan laughed, clutching his stomach.

Jeremy blushed, crossing his arms and looking away.

“Well, fuck you,” he grumbled, “After I got you a cake and a present!”

Ryan was bent over now, gripping at his knees for support as he laughed. Jeremy’s lips twitched as he glanced at him. Okay, it was hard to be mad when he was that happy. He had to admit it was pretty funny. It’d be funnier if it wasn’t _his_ face covered in confetti though. 

After Ryan got a hold of himself, he stepped forward and swept Jeremy into a kiss. He was still grinning. Jeremy relaxed against him, smiling as they parted. Ryan groped his ass and Jeremy squeaked, further amusing him. His face was burning as he smacked Ryan’s chest.

“What’s my present?” Ryan asked, grinning smugly.

He likely had a few ideas of what he wanted as a gift from Jeremy. Jeremy rolled his eyes and pointed to the table. On top was the small cake with a single candle and the fairly decent sized box with Ryan’s present inside. The wrapping paper was patterned with lighthouses. Jeremy cleared his throat when Ryan raised an eyebrow at him. _He is entirely too amused!_

Jeremy lit the candle to change focus off his blushing face. Ryan stared blankly at the cake and the candle for a moment. Jeremy felt a twinge of regret. _He...doesn’t know about birthday traditions. Of course he doesn’t. He’s never had a birthday. Or friends and family to visit for theirs._

“Um, you make a wish in your head,” Jeremy muttered, “Then you blow out the candles. If they go out on the first try, your wish comes true.”

“That seems...unlikely,” Ryan snorted.

“Just do it, ya dork,” Jeremy grunted, “It’s a tradition.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, but paused a moment, frowning thoughtfully. _He’s taking this way too seriously._ He leaned down and puffed a breath over the flame. To Jeremy’s surprise, the flame flickered, but didn’t go out. Ryan glared at the candle before suddenly pinching the wick with his thumb and index fingers. 

“It went out on the first try,” he growled.

“Uh...okay?” Jeremy murmured, “It’s nothing serious. Just a silly tradition.”

“Hmph.”

“Anyway, open your present,” Jereny suggested, pushing it towards him.

Ryan hesitated before he ripped open the gift. As he opened the unwrapped box, he stiffened. Tears welled up in his eyes and Jeremy reached for him.

“Fuck, I’m sorry!” He apologized frantically, “I didn’t mean to upset you!”

Ryan grabbed his face and kissed him hard. 

“Thank you!” He cried, rubbing at his eyes, “I love it! I want to play now, can we play now?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure!” Jeremy sputtered, “I can hook it to my tv for now.”

Ryan kissed him again and Jeremy smiled at him. 

“You’re so cute sometimes,” he teased, “How about you cut the cake while I set it up?”

“Okay,” Ryan mumbled.

Jeremy stood on his toes to kiss him and brushed tears off his cheek.

“I love you, Ryan,” he whispered.

“I love you too, Jeremy,” Ryan murmured.

They kissed again before they parted and Jeremy took the box to the living room. He plugged the N64 into his tv while Ryan cut the cake and brought it to the living room. He sat the cake and two diet cokes on the coffee table before sitting down next to Jeremy, peering over his shoulder at what he was doing. 

“Jeremy?” He muttered.

“Yeah, Ry?” Jeremy grunted, distracted by untangling wires.

“I was wondering...” Ryan mumbled, “Maybe...we could leave it here?”

“Sure, if you want,” Jeremy answered, shrugging.

“R-really?” 

“Mmhm,” Jeremy hummed.

As he plugged in the second controller he suddenly realized what the fuck just happened. His head whipped around so he could stare wide-eyed at Ryan who was stabbing his cake with his fork. He looked up, startled at Jeremy looking around suddenly.

“What?” He grunted.

“You want to move in?!” He demanded.

Ryan went red, looking down at his plate. 

“I-I mean...is it not normally this soon?” He mumbled.

“No? Maybe?” Jeremy muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, “Does it matter if it’s normal?” 

“I guess not,” Ryan murmured, stabbing at his cake, “I just...sort of thought I wanted to. Just now. I thought...I don’t want to go home and be alone at night any more because you’re here and I can...am I being stupid?”

“No, no!” Jeremy assured him quickly, reaching out to squeeze his wrist, “Of course not. I...I want you to live here, if you want. Or we could live at your place.”

Ryan started crying again, rubbing at his eyes.

“I feel so stupid,” he huffed, “I keep crying. Make it stop, Jeremy.”

“Oh, darling, come here,” Jeremy answered, holding out his arms.

Ryan buried his face in Jeremy’s neck, holding on tightly.

“I don’t want to leave,” he cried, “I don’t want to lose any more time with you. What if I only have a little bit left?”

“I...Ryan, i-it’s okay,” Jeremy stammered, “Either of us could die, s-so we’re just going t-to make the most of whatever time we have.”

Ryan just squeezed him tighter and Jeremy closed his eyes tightly. _Ryan, I never meant to put you through this. If I knew...I never would’ve...This is too cruel for you. I’m so sorry._

When Ryan finally calmed down again, he at some of his cake at Jeremy’s coaxing and they played GoldenEye007 for awhile. By the end of the night Ryan was smiling and laughing again. Jeremy’s heart hurt, but he felt some relief at being able to make him smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to fuck your mortality, bro. This is the second to last chapter.
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant to hear more about how I hate myself and everything around me.


	15. Chapter 15

_Detective Tapp was a lonely soul, constantly longing for love and championship. He’d had a rough life and had come out on the other side rather rough. He was a bit ruthless. He’d seen too much suffering._

_It was easy to get beat down in LA. Tapp was lucky he finally had someone in his corner. A partner worth a damn. Detective Davis was an amazing man. Suave and badass-_

“Jer, where’s my-never mind!” Ryan called from the bedroom.

Jeremy snorted, rolling his eyes. _What a dork._ Jeremy refocused on his writing.

_ -plus pretty too. What more could you want from a partner?  _

_ “You’re the only reason I haven’t given up,” Tapp muttered for the millionth time. _

“You love me~!” Ryan sang in Jeremy’s ear.

Jeremy blushed and batted Ryan away from him.

“Asshole!” He huffed, “What did I say about reading over my shoulder?”

Ryan pouted, though the adorableness was lost with the terrifying paint he’d put on today.

“Jesus, babe, warn me before you suddenly appear with that on your face,” he grumbled.

Ryan grinned widely, looking even more like a skull. Jeremy took hold of his chin and turned his head side to side. 

“This looks awesome!” He exclaimed, “I totally gotta draw this! Lemme take a picture, please?”

Ryan nodded, looking a bit embarrassed now as Jeremy took a picture on his phone. 

“Anyway, I gotta go,” Ryan muttered, ruffling his hair, “What you want for breakfast?”

“Doughnuts,” Jeremy answered immediately.

Ryan wrinkled his nose and snorted like a pig. Jeremy whacked his arm.

“Dickbag.”

Ryan just grinned again before leaning down to kiss him goodbye. 

“See you tomorrow, darlin’,” he murmured, caressing Jeremy’s cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jeremy answered, kissing his palm before shooing him.

Ryan smiled as he left, closing the door behind him. Jeremy propped his elbow on his desk, leaning on his hand as he stared at the door. _Shouldn’t I be out of the honeymoon phase by now?_

~

Ryan was just supposed to be a presence that night. He wasn’t supposed to fight. None of them were. It was supposed to be peaceful.

“King, lovely to see you again,” The man greeted.

“Likewise,” Geoff muttered, “You know my associates.”

He gestured to Ryan and Michael. They were always the two he chose when he wanted to intimidate. Crazy Mad, he called them. Ryan liked the name. Liked working with Michael. Mostly because when Ryan said “Hey you wanna see if I can do this dangerous thing” Michael answered with “Hell fucking yeah I wanna see if you can do that dangerous thing”. And he was good at what he did. 

They all were. FAHC was filled with talent. And Gavin. Ryan had become extremely fond of all of them. He blamed it on Jeremy for softening him up. He punished him every opportunity he got. He suppressed a grin as he thought doing just that in the morning.

The flash of a scope made his eyes snap to where a sniper was aiming. His eyes went wide. He couldn’t tell which one of them they were aiming at, but they were tensing to fire. Their hand reached for the bolt action. 

Ryan turned and launched at the other two. He shoved Geoff into Michael, sending them both out of the way. He grunted as the bullet hit him. Luckily the other two and Ray took care of the problem as he stumbled into cover. He wheezed as he laid flat, pushing his back into the concrete. His vision was fading quickly. 

“Shit,” he huffed.

_I’m dying._ He fumbled for his phone. The lock screen made him smile as he shakily tried to put his passcode in. _Gotta...say...goodbye..._ His gloves were in the way. He couldn’t tap the buttons. His arm went limp and the phone tumbled from his hand. _Jeremy..._

~

Ryan was suddenly standing alone in the middle of the night. He sputtered, looking around wildly.  _Balcony._ He was standing on an apartment balcony. He looked inside, but it was too dark to see anything properly. _What? Where? How?_ He turned around, looking outward. Well, it looked like the beautiful garbage heap that was Los Angeles.

He looked up at the clear sky, then down at the Vagabond getup. He’d lost time somehow. How much time? He patted his clothes, searching for his phone. He couldn’t find it. _Where the hell is my phone?_ He rubbed his palm against his temple. 

_What the fuck is going on?_

In the middle of kissing Tapp, something happened and now he was here. How much time had passed? Why was he here of all places? 

He tugged at the balcony door. _Locked._ So he had to have climbed up. He pulled his wallet to use a card on the door and found an unusual driver’s license. First of all, he didn’t have a driver’s license. Secondly, the last name Dooley was way too obviously fake for him to use. And third, the most concerning, was that the issue date was two years past the day he’d been almost kissing Tapp at the crime scene.

What happened? Why couldn’t he remember two or more years of his life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the endddd~! I’m sure you guys are totally chill with this totally chill ending! :D anyway, follow me @1stworldmutant to fight about it. May your paths stay lit, little stars~✨!


End file.
